Monday, December 19, 2011
Thursday, December 1, 2011
That changed today. I read a prompt I felt I could actually pull off!
Monday, November 21, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Today, it's all food. Lucky us!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
I apologize if it makes no sense. After all, it was 12:50am when I finally hit "Publish Post." Please. Just. Keep that in mind while you read. Again. Sorry.
I went into CVS Pharmacy the other day, armed with my $9 in ECBs, my *free* $25 CVS GC, my circular, my game plan and $20. Just in case.
Monday, November 14, 2011
This is a coupon post. If you don't like these sort of posts and/or couponing in general, leave now. Although, if you stay and read this, you may change your mind about couponing, jump on the band wagon and start saving yourself enough money to buy that fabulous _______ you have always wanted and have resigned yourself to only dreaming about because NO BODY has THAT kind of money in this current economy. If that ends up being the case.... you are so welcome. Send me CVS GC and we will call it even. And maybe a pic of the ______ you bought. (as long as it's not a before and after of some cosmetic surgery. I'll pass.)
Ok. Warning done. Back to your regularly (ya, right.) scheduled posts.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Those tabs are my focus. I hope to come here and get inspired by just looking at them. It will work. For a month. Maybe. We'll see.
More might be added. Or not. Maybe even removed. Depending.
Let me know what ya think. Especially your thoughts on what might be added or removed or whatever.
Change is good. Right?
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Sunday, October 2, 2011
So, if you're frugal shopping savvy, you've probably already figured out that this is going to be a blog entry on couponing. If you're not frugal shopping savvy, then you've just learned it was a couponing entry and you're headed for the door. STOP!! Check it out. You might like what you see and be tempted to try it out for yourself. Come on. It'll be fun. I mean, hey... who couldn't stand to save a few dollars here and there? You like free stuff, right? Ya, I knew that would win you over. Have a seat.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
This was a monumental moment. I was about to share with my youngest, MY. Only can. Of RavioliOs! I doubted she realized the importance of this moment. This was huge! I mean, not only was I sharing the number one food in my comfort line up, I was sacrilegiously heating it up in the microwave... and at half the power. *scream in horror* I KNOW!!!! Although I have smacked people for less... here I was, ruining a can of O-Oh Deliciousness... for my daughter. I half hoped she would make a face and push it away after one small taste.
My hopes were dashed.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Now I'm MIB! No. I'm not wearing a black suit and carrying a flashy thingy. Although, the flashy thingy could be lots of fun. But, no. I've decided I'm Making It Back. I know. Sounds lame. Trust me, it sounded much better in my head.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Friday, August 5, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Thursday, July 21, 2011
My kids, however, are normal.... well.... sort of. And they love them some chocolate milk! So when my Mom found these chocolate straws that turn your milk chocolate, she was all over them. Bought 2 packs. When the kids saw what she had bought them, they freaked out. Needless to say, we all had a mid-day milk snack to try them out.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
So have you jumped on this band wagon yet? If not, do you think you will? Ya, neither did I. Didn't seem worth it. 50c off here. 25c off there. $1 off... if the item is a billion dollars to begin with. What's the point, right? Then that show aired... you know what show I mean. The show where these crazy women have rooms dedicated to shampoo, toothpaste and cereal? And other rooms for stock piles of things they will never use? And the HOURS they say they dedicate to it?!? 30+ ? INSANE!!!
Or so I thought.
Friday, July 8, 2011
I am sick and tired of avoiding the scale! I avoid it, because it lies. So, time to get a new one.
Ok, no it doesn't. And no, I'm not getting a new one. It's me.
But I have a plan. A 3 part plan.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Why do things happen in clumps? Ok, I know the logistics of why. No need to break it down. It was more of a rhetorical question, but thanks!
Monday, July 4, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
And I have. Now I have a bushel of photos I need to put in photo albums. Needless to say, they are still in the packs they came in.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Why? Why did this have to happen now of all months? Believe it or not, I have an answer for that. Murphy's Law. The law that states that anything that can possibly go wrong, will go wrong at the most inopportune moment. The unwritten portion of that law states, if you are a member of the Murphy Clan (which I am), you might as well count on said crappy timing of bad tidings and use it to your advantage, because your inopportune moments will be plentiful. Yippee. Don't get me wrong, I love my Irish heritage and my Murphy side of the family but, I sooo could do with out the
To add to the sting, today (June 23rd) marks the 11th year the love of my life and I have been together. 11 freakin' years ya'll!!! That's HUGE in both our books!! It's Monumental!! *takes a minute to breath in the
Ya know what? Murphy can SUCK IT! Not even this bad news is going to bring us down! We worked hard for this! We deserve to be happy no matter what! We have gone through this before and here we are, stronger as a couple and family despite it. Probably because of it. My kids have learned valuable lessons from all our trials. They know money is not ever flowing. They know you have to work hard and sacrifice for even the basics sometimes. They will do well and value things more as a result. So, today? I rejoice! I celebrate not only 11 years as a couple, but 11 years as a strong resilient front!
BRING IT ON, MURPHY!!!!
Monday, June 20, 2011
So, to avoid my nightmare coming true, I present to you, my darling one year old and my beloved grad:
If it seems like I am kissin' baby and kiddo butt in the hopes that they forgive and don't stage a Mommy beat down? You're right! They maybe little, but they are both freakishly strong! Frankly? I fear them.
In fact, if you don't hear from me for a few days... dial 911. The baby and the boy have been whispering. I think my efforts are too little too late. Wish me luck!
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Consider this your PSA for the day. I have done my job. You are welcome.
Why do I bring this all up? June. That's right June. Some how, some where, karma... God... the stars alignments... Murphy's Law (and the fact that I am from the Murphy Clan).... or some greater plan than what I can't begin to fathom because I am not worthy, clumped 3 important dates in my life together by no real choice of my own: My anniversary, my soon to be 9 year old's birthday, and my soon to be 1 year olds birthday. AND because it is June, graduations. Our anniversary is based on the day we met and both girls were
This month sucks.
This week sucks.
Thursday: Libby's 1st birthday!!! AND Liam's graduation and the school's end of the year awards ceremony. Seriously.
Friday: Last day of school. A shortened day. Of course.
Saturday: Birthday party for the girls. Last day we will have the eldest 2. :'0(
Sunday: Father's day. Also, Cait's 9th birthday!! (the 2nd time she has shared her day with Dad)
Needless to say, Wednesday and prior to Wednesday have and will be prep days for everything. I'm tired and the "festivities" haven't even begun yet! *yawn*
I need more coffee.
And time for me.
Don't wanna show up to any of the joyful and memorable times in my children's little lives, dead. That would suck. No one wants a zombie on "their day." Ok... Most people.
Wow. I'm tired. That made no real sense. I don't think. My mind is starting to rot. That is exactly why I say "Take time for YOU!" Potentially dead with mush brain is not good memorable.
I can't wait for my anniversary on the 23rd. I get to get away for a couple hours!! MOSTLY kid free. ;0)
I'm gonna need it.
Remember to breath. (oh crap! *gasp* S'ok! I'm good!)
Friday, June 10, 2011
Nine days ago, on May 31st, a Morrocan mother known as Habiba had her child taken away from her without her consent, allegedly because she breastfed her child on demand. Due to her dire financial situation, Habiba had been living with her 15 month old daughter in a women's shelter in Madrid (Instituto Madrileño del Menor y la Familia- IMMF-, which roughly translates to Madrid's Family and Children's Institute).
In later declarations and radio interviews, Nacho de la Mata, her lawyer, informed the media that Habiba had left her child at the facility's daycare center as usual, and that the child was taken away immediately from there. She was then notified that she could no longer live at the shelter, for this facility only took on the care of mothers and she no longer had a child.
Fundación Raíces, a humanitarian organization, immediately took on Habiba's care, providing psychiatric evaluations, performed by well know birth rights activist and author Dr. Ibone Olza, along with legal services, healthcare and financial aid.
According to anonymous information released in the press, supposedly coming from the IMMF, Habiba's child was taken away from her due to her failure to comply to the center's "Psychotherapy and Maternal Habilities Program", allegedly because she was "a violent person", although there are no records of this alleged violence.
Dr. Olza, the psychiatrist who evaluated Habiba, as well as a psychologist, whose name has not yet been released coincide in their impressions on Habiba:
"I'm under the impression that [Habiba] is a sensible and loving mother, with a healthy attachment to her child."
"It is obvious that this separation is highly stressful for the nursling and I can easily predict oncoming symptoms of psychic distress if the physical and emotional bond with her mother is not immediately restored"
"Based on Habiba's thorough psychiatric evaluation I have reached the conclusion that this woman does not suffer from psychiatric disorders nor does she have a drug habit. In my opinion, she is a very capable, loving woman who is now suffering enormously from having been abruptly separated from her child."
"As a child psychiatrist, I know that suddenly separating a fifteen month old child from her mother, transfering her to a government facility with no one the child is familiar with present, causes great damage that could have enduring psychological consequences, if not reunited as soon as possible."
Habiba is not only suffering emotionally but also physically. The day Dr. Olza took on her care, she was suffering from engorgement and was on the edge of developing mastitis. Dr. Olza helped Habiba express her milk and took a half liter of breastmilk to the IMMF. After a lot of persuasion, and arguments about how it would be a crime to waste this mothers "liquid gold", the IMMF accepted the milk although that poses no guarantee upon the child ever being fed it, as Breastfeeding is strictly forbidden in all child welfare group homes.
This news appears to contradict the strong support of breastfeeding in Madrid's breastfeeding and parent-child bonding programs for health professionals. Thus the IMMF's attitude on breastfeeding, and their opinion on it, calling it "chaotic and damaging to children" has caused great alarm among mothers everywhere, not only the breastfeeding community. According to declarations in the newspaper, allegedly coming on behalf of the IMMF, the reason for separating mother and child has nothing to do with their breastfeeding relationship, yet after saying that the child was removed from her mother's care "temporarily and the case would be reevaluated", they warned Habiba beforehand that nursing her child during their one hour weekly visit was absolutely forbidden supposedly because "it would be contrary to the child's institutionalization".
On Saturday June 4th, Dr. Olza decided to seek public support for Habiba's case, and started a Facebook Group called Que el IMMF permita que Habiba amamante a su niña YA (IMMF please allow Habiba to breastfeed her child right now). In less than 24 hours, the group grew to over 2000 members, and currently has over 3500 (and continues growing by the minute).
Yesterday, Habiba was allowed to visit her child, for only an hour. After nine days of being apart, they were reunited for only sixty minutes.
Since information on this case became public, other similar cases of women being forced to wean their children upon threats of their custody being taken over by the state have been brought to light. A public petition in Spanish was signed by over 3500 people, and another 5200 have sent personal letters to the IMMF and other Spanish authorities, as well as Save the Children, Amnesty International and other NGOs to express their support for Habiba and request her to be reunited with her child as soon as possible.
This morning, a Spanish newspaper published further declarations by Dr. Olza about Habiba's impression upon meeting her child briefly yesterday:
"My little girl is no longer the child I knew, at first she wouldn't even look at me... she has lost half a kilo, she looks very thin, this is not proper childcare, she had circles under her eyes, she started crying as soon as I picked her up but then she would stop immediately as if she didn't have the physical strength to cry any longer, she didn't seem like my daughter, she looked like a dead child, a doll".
Dr. Olza explained to the Spanish authorities that the child's reaction was perfectly predictable under the circumstances:
"She wouldn't look her in the face, she looked at her as though she was a complete stranger, not wanting to go near her, [another possible reaction could have been] the contrary, not wanting to let go of her mother afterwards."
"... it was absolutely predictable that the child wouldn't seem happy upon seeing her mother given the circumstances," which is something that an untrained observer could [but should not] interpret as "the child not loving her mother, or that [Habiba] was not a good parent".
"On the contrary, the fact that she reacted this way is proof that the child has suffered enormously from this deep feeling of abandonment"
Not only has the child been traumatically separated from her mother, but there also aren't sufficient caregivers to provide children with the nurturing that they need. After visiting the shelter at which Habiba's baby is being held, Fundación Raíces told the press that during night shifts, there are only two caregivers for 42 children under the age of six.
Minutes ago, Dr. Olza, published the following urgent request, asking all supporters currently residing in Madrid to please protest in front of the IMMF right now:
Less than one hour ago, a representative of the IMMF in charge of Habiba's case has verbally accepted that she sees " her child one hour a week in order for her to maintain their breastfeeding relationship" to which the president of Fundación Raíces has replied that he obviously has absolutely no knowledge whatsoever about breastfeeding. His response was that the IMMF would evaluate the possibility of more generous visitation rights. We ask you all to please go stand and protest in front of the IMMF building right now to request that this institutional abuse upon Habiba is put to an end immediately. The address (in Madrid) is Calle Gran Vía 14. The following is extremely important: please take the picture above printed on paper to use as masks during the protest, Habiba does not wish for her face or anyone else's to be displayed in the media. We will all wear this drawing as masks because We are all Habiba.
I'm perfectly aware that this story seems very much like a hoax, but with well know professionals such as María Teresa Hernández, member of the Spanish Pediatrics Academy's Breastfeeding Commitee, award-winning lawyer Nacho de la Mata, well reknown authors and birth activists Isabel Fernández del Castillo and Ibone Olza, among others backing the information and giving their personal impressions on the matter publicly, things seem greatly believable.
If this story has touched your heart, if you wish to help in any way, please share this post. If you have a blog, please re-publish this information, if you know anyone in the press, anywhere in the world who could help in any way, please do contact them.
If you wish to support Habiba on Facebook, please join this group in Spanish, or this international page with other translations, including English and French.
Please sign the public petition in Spanish, or in English (rough translation).
Leer más: http://www.amormaternal.com/2011/06/please-help-habiba.html#ixzz1OszGWZY7
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives
Thursday, June 9, 2011
While I could never bring myself to dumpster dive, my Mom has on many occasions. I have sold some of her finds on eBay before for an easy profit. (I checked them and cleaned them completely. Sellers loved the items. Don't judge! ;0p )
Now a days, dumpster diving has given way to things she finds in hotel rooms she cleans for a living (as you have seen in my previous post... more to come on that with better items than dish soap bars.) However, that includes a 30 day lost and found waiting period. Not as instantly gratifying, but kinda like Christmas when she gets the lost and found bags that time has expired on.
My current obsession is going to Goodwill's outlet store. Dumpster diving glorified!! You go into a warehouse with 2 dozen or more blue semi-shallow sorting bins on wheels, each about the size of a compact car. Each is filled with misc. items that didn't sell at their stores for whatever reason. (usually, due to over pricing) With the exception of furniture and other hand selected heavier items, everything is sold by the pound. Everything from house hold items, toys and books to shoes and clothing. It's awesome! I have found all sorts of things there including a Bulova ladies watch w/ diamonds (hidden deep in a inner pocket of a really cute diaper bag), a Coach and a Dooney purse. Many items, I have turned around and sold for quite the profit. I highly recommend it. '0)
Just... stay away from the outlet I go to. I'd hate to go all crazy on you over a pair of Prada Shoes at the bottom of a bin. I have a screaming baby with me at all times and I know how to use her. Stay back!
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
What kind of room, you ask? Hotel rooms. Residence Inn rooms to be more specific. I will leave exactly which, where and who I get these from out of the stories. Not because they have been stolen or otherwise acquired illegally, no. It's because I don't want you insane lovely people going there and leaving odd things there so you can land a spot on my inglorious blog! ;0p
First item up for your enjoyment.... VIM! With the "EXTRA POWER OF LIME!"
Friday, June 3, 2011
I have wanted to get on here and post a spit load of things. In fact, I have a folder with pics just screaming at me to write about them. Yes, pics. My most recent attempt at encouraging myself to blog more often and quite possibly... *gasp* ... regularly! Ok, maybe not that often. That requires organization. Something I long for, but lack on a large scale.
In the attempt to catch up with my own rambling thoughts, I present you with one of the many pics in that folder: Ancient Deliciousness!
In a cup. :0)
This has got to be THE best
Yes. That good.
It is soooooo creamy and oh so yummy. Even PLAIN! And that says a lot people. I hate plain yogurt.
So, if you happen to come across ZOI Greek Yogurt in your grocer's refrigerated section, I say you grab one... or two... hell, grab 10! They are that. Damn. Good! And if you find I'm am full off bull and you hate them, I will happily take them all off your hands. And eat them. All.
Consider it a potentially guilt ridden service I am willing to provide you.
Because I care. '0)
Monday, May 16, 2011
My youngest is going to turn 1 in one month exactly. To celebrate turning 11 months old, she practiced her semi-mobile independance and maimed herself, possibly earning her first ever "tuff gal black eye" badge. She had pulled herself up and was cruising the length of her sibilings bed when her legs gave out and she wacked her eye on the bed frame.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Almost daily, (or less because I suck at doing anything "regularly") I check one of my favorite blogs: The Bloggess. Occasionally, she posts links to other blogs that have bought space for their awesome ads. Normally, I click on the ad, glance around and leave. Today, the ad sent me to a blog that not only grabbed my attention, but made me stay and read entries for over an hour! So, now I have yet another site I feel compelled to check out on a regular basis, keeping me on the computer that much longer. But its ok. Worth it. The blog is called Flourish in Progress and it's written a young lady (wow. do I feel OLD now) named Elizabeth. Her blog (in short) is the "chronicle of (her) 30th Birthday Project" of cutting back on her "needless spending." While that's great and admirable and all, I'm just following her blog because she's FUNNY.
Ok, I can literally hear you screaming, what the HELL does this have to do with scars and Monchhichis!!!
Be patient. I'm gettin' there.
So, I was pokin' around her blog, trying to get the basics with out being there all day, when one of the titles of her previous blog entries catches my eye: I Failed. Shit. I had to read it. It was here I came face to face with the elusive toy of my childhood. The Monchhichi. Basically, her blog entry was about how she "failed" in her project one day because she stumbled upon one, HAD to buy it and felt sightly guilty for her needless purchase.
I left a comment. I had too. I felt her pain. I would have bought it too. Well... here's what I posted:
"Do NOT feel bad about your "set back." It's a Monchhichi for shit sake! It was a NECESSITY!! I would have done the same thing. Seriously. I wanted one as a kid too. Didn't get one. Got a generic grey (much bigger) thumb suckin' wanna-be. I loved it and pretended (sadly) that it was a Monchhichi, but it wasn't the same. That Chhichi scar is a deep one. You NEEDED to buy her. And lick her. ;0)
When I was 4, I had this fantastic Fisher Price castle complete with furniture, little people kings and queens and knights, horses and a cute little pink dragon. I loved that thing. My parents did the unthinkable and "donated" it to my preschool (with out asking me) thinking I had outgrown it or something. *eyeroll* I was bitter over it for years (when I would remember it was gone.) Eventually, I got over it... or so i thought. Last year, my Mom and I were at a children's consignment sale and there, among a bunch of Littlest Pet Shop Habitats, Bratz Doll Houses & newer Fisher Price Little People play structures... my castle. Complete with cute little pink dragon (and everything else.) My therapy cost (my Mom) $80!
It lives in my kids room. I play with it all the time."
Ok, not all the time. Just when the kids are in school. That's why we send them to school, right? To play with their toys?
That reminds me. My daughter is turning 9 soon. Maybe I should get her a Monchhichi for her birthday. ;0)
Friday, April 22, 2011
They helped their grandma plant our garden for the season. This year they planted:
* green beans
* replace one of your artichoke plants because it was trampled on
* tomatoes (in a very generic topsy turvy)
* carrots and lettuce (both using some sort of bio-degradable strip with the seeds built in so they are evenly spaced and yet some how still all cramped too close together)
* redirected our black berry bush (re-using part of our previously delapitated gazeebo)
* added a few more "wild flower mystery seeds" to where the California Poppys took over and choked out the rest of our previously beautiful & diverse array of flowers. (sounds a bit political to me)
* and planned out where to later add our pumpkin plants closer to mid-summer. (if not, you get pumpkins in August and well... they don't keep 'til Halloween. We've tried.)
I don't know about you, but the whole adventure makes me tired just thinking about it. But I'll be out there to enjoy it once the weather gets warmer and it's time to
Pictures from previous years:
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Saturday was her first MESA Day competition. She competed in Tetrahedral Kites and Kapla Blocks which she had to stack in a tower and balance an apple on the top. She never got to the apple part. Because the tallest/most stable towers win, she was not satisfied with her attempts and knocked them all down.
All the kids took a math test to start off with. Top 3 scores in each grade won a medal. Her school won a lot of medals! In the math test alone, their 3rd grade group sweeped! They also won medals in the kites, kapla blocks, water bottle rockets, popstick bridges, pop up books, macaroni cars, and a few others I can't recall.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Saturday, March 12, 2011
I saw the water as it rushed ashore and I felt powerless.
8.3 8.8 8.9 I doubt it makes a difference the actual magnitude when you are in the midst of swaying buildings and falling debris. Your only thoughts are "Holy Crap!" and "How do I get out of this alive." Heck, those were my thoughts when I was in the "Great Quake of 89" in the San Francisco Bay Area. And it was only a 7.1. And I was about 25 miles away from the epicenter. I was afraid for my life during and physically ill from the shaking after. I can only imagine how much more intense it was in Japan. I mean, earthquakes are survivable, but if you are caught in the wrong place during one, there is nothing you can do. It's not like they come with warnings.
Plenty of warning. Not much in the way of surviving if you are in the way of a large wave. Or, as we saw in Japan, fast rolling water. That just blew my mind! The water just ... spread out. Like an assimilating amoeba, absorbing everything in its path. It looked like a harmless puddle spreading across the land, until it would topple a building like it was nothing more than a sandcastle. Or you'd focus on the debris it was pushing along and realize it was a fleet of cars!!
Were there people in those cars? Where there people in those buildings? My mind went there many times and for my own sanity, I lied to myself and said, "No. Not possible. They had warnings. They headed the warnings. Why wouldn't they?" Then they'd show the water creeping towards a town. With a road. With cars on it. Cars driving both ways as if they weren't sure where to go, or worse... didn't realize the water was coming. I did all I could NOT to scream at the TV!! A few cars turned around, but it didn't matter. The water was coming from both directions. What happened to those people? Did they make it? Again, I lied to myself.
Why did I keep watching that night? People describe it as watching a train wreck, you just can't look away. Literally, a morbid curiosity. I finally forced myself to change the channel and watch reruns of "The King of Queens" in the attempt to get my mind off it.
But those in Japan, didn't have that luxury. It made me feel guilty. Those in Hawaii didn't have that luxury either. It was headed their way. And then I heard it might reach us here in CA. I wasn't as worried for my fellow Californians. We had more warning than anyone else. What killed me were the morons who just had to line up near the beaches to see the waves! Seriously?!?!? You're being told that a tsunami is coming and you purposely get in the way?!? We really have a false sense of security here in the US. Not even WATER can touch us! WTF? Do they not remember Hurricane Katrina?!? Then I heard a man was swept out to sea because he was taking pictures of the waves. *shakes head* There was even a warning that the waves may reach up to 6 ft high and he still got in the way!! Not to speak ill of the dead, but that had Darwin Winner written all over it. Turns out they were wrong. The wave was 8 ft. No out-running that!!
One thing really bugged me about they way some of my fellow Californians reacted. Japan was hit hard. They are facing a potentially massive death toll, many are missing, and the damage will take a long time to clean up and recover from. And now, they face the possible effects from the nuclear plant exploding. Life as they know it will not be the same for quite some time. Here in CA, we were barely tapped in comparison. (Here's what really bugged me) Many of the people interviewed here came across and shallow and materialistic! "Oh, my boat! I lost my boat!" (not a direct quote) Seriously?!? Did you live there? Unless you lived there, who gives a fuck?!?! One chick said she was "devastated" by damage. Really? It's a boat. Sure, it cost you a pretty penny, but still! THAT'S. NOT. DEVASTATION!!" You wanna see true devastation? Watch the videos of Japan. Gain some prospective!
*steps off the soap box*
Please. If you can. Donate. Japan is going to need all the help they can get from all of us world wide. The easiest thing you can do is text a donation. Quick, easy and virtually painless. You can donate $10 to either Salvation Army by texting either "QUAKE" or "JAPAN" to 80888 or to the Red Cross by texting "REDCROSS" to 90999. Both will bill your ten dollar donation to your phone bill and both are tax deductible.
Blessings to all affected, even here in the US, but especially in Japan.
Not so much lately.
Maybe it's the lack of sleep? The baby? The other 2 kiddos in school? My recent consignment sale projects? (more on that later, I promise) Or maybe it's just the looming depression I've had lately? Who knows. Just haven't had the desire to type. That isn't normal. For me anyway. Normally, I am boggin' down my girlfriends on our Mom's Site blabberin' away about pretty much everything. But here lately, the blab-blin' brook has run dry.
It's been a month since my last post. Wow, that sounds like a confession. Forgive me reader for I have sinned. It has been a month since my last post. "Post two blogs, Tweet 5 times and all will be forgiven." I promise I will do better. Or atleast I'll try. Maybe I should sign up on some of those blog ring things. An actually audience that would hold me accountable and call me names might be just what I need to post more. Not a nice audience mind you. They would forgive. And I would feel fine flaking knowing I'd be foregiven. No, I need posts like "You Wanker!! Post Already!!" That I would respond to. Or atleast, I'd like to think I would. Altough, in reality, that would probably make me shut it all up and quit all together. Or maybe not.
What am I trying to say... no clue. I'm rambling. Sadly, it's what I do best.
Friday, February 11, 2011
The next morning, we were in the kitchen making breakfast when she looked down and exclaimed "I have two pants on!" When I asked her why, she responded "I don't know." Immediately, I knew what had happened and headed for her closet. Sure enough, in her hamper, was her shirt. On the floor was 2 more jammie shirts. When I called her in there and pointed it out, she seemed a bit confused. "I didn't do that."
"Ya, I believe you did hun. I think you were sleep walking."
"I didn't do that!"
"Well, I didn't put 2 pairs of pants on you in the middle of the night."
"Oh, ya. But I didn't put my shirt in there."
"Ya, I think you did."
This was the first time in my daughters life she was utterly speachess. I wish I hadn't been worried and trying to hide so I could have enjoyed the moment. I explained what sleep walking was and how her older brother in Nevada does it form time to time. That seemed to help, but she still seemed a bit freaked out about it. (I was too, to be honest.) While she was at school, she worked through it in her own way. She talked to her classmates. When I picked her up, she came running to me yelling "Maurice does it too!"
"He does? You told Maurice?"
"Ya! I told him how I woke up in two pants and how took my shirt off with out knowing it because I slept walked. He said he sleep walks all the time too. He's slept walked to the bathroom before!"
"He did? Wow. So you feel better about it now?"
"I just hope I don't walk up with two pants on again."
Thursday, February 3, 2011
But that isn't the main point behind this post.
On our way out of said Creamery, my beloved son tripped over a raise in the concrete/his own feet/ air (who really knows) and took a litteral nose dive. Unfortunately, his hands were in his pockets (something his Dad is ALWAYS yelling at him for) so his nose broke his fall. Luckily, it did not break in the process.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
I didn't dive into this in my last post, because I wanted to focus on the stigma. And, too be honest, I didn't even read Lori's posts until today. Too close to home. Didn't want to face what I could have done to my family had any of my attempts ever been successful. However, I had read in other posts about her blog; that it was real raw emotion. I even read that some had talked crap about her and put her down for posting them where others could see, including her kids. While I was sure I wouldn't side with the ignorant jerks who saw it best to kick her while she was down, I wasn't sure how the posts would make me feel about my personal crap, so I chose to stay away. Today, I felt compelled to read them. I'm glad I did.
Yes, her emotions are raw. Yes, her language is rough. Who's wouldn't be after such a traumatic loss? But the message, and the emotions surrounding it, are important! It's a message not often shared. And when shared, not nearly enough. Why should something like this be shared? You always hear that suicide is not the answer and all it does is make things worse. That statement, while true, is vague and not at all enough to stop someone from thinking that the world we be a better place if they weren't in it. The aftermath of suicide is ugly. An ugly some people need to know about in order to further dismiss it as a personal option. Lori's blog entries are raw and real. Posting them helps her cope with it all. It also helps others, like myself, fight our inner demons and realize what they are capable of doing. More importantly, her blog encourages those who feel like they are losing the battle to speak up, reach out and get help.
So please, if you have ever contemplated taking your life, read her blog. Put things into prospective. Mental illness is not something you can suffer through with out affecting others. Don't be foolish in thinking you can just "handle it". Even the strongest and wisest have battled with depression and lost. There is no shame in asking for help. It takes a very strong person to speak up. And in doing so, you won't be just saving your life. You'll be saving the lives of those you love and those who love you.
The Bloggess said in her post "Your friends and family want you…broken or not." I agree wholeheartedly. Damaged is far better than dead.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
I am Tracey and I am Bipolar.
I flinch when I say that out loud because those who hear me tend to jump to their own conclusions as to what that means. Some assume it means I'm insane, schizo, psychotic, dangerous... even contagious. Some become "sympathetic" and treat me like I'm either fragile or special needs. I have even come across those who act as if I am full of crap, doing it for attention or just a bored SAHM riding the diagnosis of the month. They assume this not because of my actions or rumors to my past. No, they based them solely on the heinous stigma that surrounds mental illness as a whole. A stigma I have battled against for the better part of my life. For this reason alone, I have kept "in the closet" about this very important part of myself.
But no longer.
I was diagnosed at 19. My story neither begins there, nor ends. But it almost did.
I had already figured out I was Bipolar. Not by a treatment center or a doctor or even an online search (such things were unheard of for the most part back then). It was in my first year of Jr. College. I had just stormed out of my Intro to Business class because I arrived too late to take a test and I completely lost it. I was directed to speak with my college counselor who just happened to run a "Bipolar/Unipolar" support group on campus. I attended one meeting and immediately knew the answer to the question I didn't even realize I had been asking myself for years.
"Why am I so damn different?"
Finding out the answer was an indescribable moment in my life that I will never forget. It was right up there with losing my virginity.... strike that. Better. However, knowing wasn't enough to save me from the self destructive ticking time bomb that had already been set to go off deep within. I attempted suicide twice before I was hospitalized, put on meds and then... finally... diagnosed.
Looking back at my childhood, I can see things that should have been obvious signs. Two things kept my family from properly seeing them. One: Most of them were Bipolar. Two: None of them knew it!! Yep. I was the first of my family to be diagnosed. Unfortunately, the diagnosis came too late for 2 of my relatives who were too far gone and sadly, took their own lives. (Although, in both cases, whether it was an accident or by their own choice is still up for debate by some.)
Those same things I saw in myself as a child, I now see in my daughter. At first, it scared me. Then I realized it didn't have to be scary! Sure it was scary for ME! I was CLUELESS!! She doesn't need to be! It took me years to figure it all out because I had to do it all on my own in a time when people were still being locked away for months even years! Just NOW, they are starting to recognize Bipolar Disorder as a pediatric issue. They are realizing that not all those bouncy kids are suffering from ADHD. Some are Bipolar. Treatments are changing. For the better.
With all this change, shouldn't the stigma change too?
All mental illnesses are REAL ILLNESSES. REAL DISORDERS. They are NOT however, defining.
I struggle with my illness. I live my life in spite of my illness. In order to do so, I embrace my illness.
I am Tracey. I am Bipolar. I am also a daughter, a sister and spouse. I am doting mother and aunt. I am a teacher, a caregiver, an entrepreneur and a bookkeeper. I am creative and open minded. I am supportive and caring. I am funny. I am loving. I am fun loving and wise. I'm a singer and a dancer. I am a jokester and silly. I'm encouraging and courageous. Above all, I am hopeful and sincere.
If you have been hiding, I ask that you join me and come out. Like I said, it's a movement. Well actually, its a campaign. Started by this guy: Michael Kimber. He's also on FaceBook. I learned of Michael and his Coming Out of the Crazy Closet Campaign, through Jenny the Bloggess. She too "Came Out" recently on her blog and asked others "Speak Up!"
So please. Join us. Come out. Speak up. Help us fight the stigma that has held us captive in our silence for far too long.
You are not alone.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
But some days, lazy takes over. I get a rush of energy and I clean... the kids room. Who gives a flip about the kids room when the front of the house looks like a bomb hit! ME apparently! I'll spend hours .... HOURS!!... putting all their freakin' toys in the right place. Then I walk into the front and find myself waving my hands in disgust, *pshaw*-ing, and walking back into my bedroom to hide... only after stopping to view and taking comfort in how clean the kids room. A sense of accomplishmet maybe? A cleaning "Patch" per se? I don't know.
Notice the newly cleaned and stacked diapers... and the Starbucks?
Ya, that was a productive day. ;0)
I've been napping and drinking coffee. Nothing helps. Hell, the coffee probably makes the Anemia worse! Atleast that's what the website I linked to above says. Great. No wonder I feel more tired after a cup of Joe. So much for helping me with a boost of caffiene! Blech. Probably undoes the iron pills I've been slammin' every day.
I can't win. I want the sun back. And my nightly sleep. But that means my infant not being an infant anymore. Well, that sucks!
Again, I can't win.
I just can't win.