Monday, December 19, 2011

Ho, Ho, Holy Crap ... Again!

Almost a year ago to the day, I posted this poem.  I was stressed.  I was poor.  Christmas was less than a week away and I was ready for the year to end.  Sadly, a year later, things haven't changed much.  Luckily for me, my kids haven't changed much either.  Well... they got bigger.  However, their values are just as strong as ever.  As eldest confirmed just the other day, Christmas is about family.  Everything else is extra.  Well put. 
And now, a sad reblog post of  Ho, Ho, Holy Crap!   Merry Chirstmas Y'all. 

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop and Prompts - 5 Things

For months now, I have been receiving updates from one of the best blogs in the world via my email.  There is no better way to follow a blog than to get it in your email. (Coincidentally, you can follow this blog the same way. *shameless plug/hint*)  The blog is called Mama's Losin' It and is wrtten by Mama Kat, a hilarious blogger who won me over when she shared how even I could rock bangs.  This beauty secret had me at hello.  Then her Writer's Workshop inspired me to dream of one day actually following a prompt.  (I told you I was lazy.)

That changed today.  I read a prompt I felt I could actually pull off!

Monday, November 21, 2011

Vlogging? Sounds Kinky.

"Vlogging"?  Kinky!!

Vlogging: The art of blogging via a video posted on the internet. 

Oh.  Nevermind.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Thursday is Now... Things Found in a Room Thursday!

Yup.  From now on, I will hold Thursdays dear to my heart.  It will be the day I dump a picture bomb in your lap of a thing, or two, or three... or more... found.  In a room.

Today, it's all food.  Lucky us!

Not pictured: A Pom SuperTea. And boy, was it yummy. ;0)

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Best. Haul. EVER!

Post... uh... posting... umm... note?  I tried a million times for this stupid thing to bold only certain things and failed miserably.  And now, I can't even spell Miserably.  Or I am spelling it right and I am just that tired, it just looks wrong.  Heck, I'm so tired, I am now questioning the validity of this entire post!  However, I have been at this thing far too long now to just toss it so, HERE it is in all it's glory. 

I apologize if it makes no sense.  After all, it was 12:50am when I finally hit "Publish Post." Please.  Just.  Keep that in mind while you read.  Again.  Sorry.


I went into CVS Pharmacy the other day, armed with my $9 in ECBs, my *free* $25 CVS GC, my circular, my game plan and $20.  Just in case. 

Monday, November 14, 2011

Warning. Coupons Ahead May Seem Bigger Than They Appear!

General Warning About Any and All Future Coupon Posts:

This is a coupon post.  If you don't like these sort of posts and/or couponing in general, leave now.  Although, if you stay and read this, you may change your mind about couponing, jump on the band wagon and start saving yourself enough money to buy that fabulous _______ you have always wanted and have resigned yourself to only dreaming about because NO BODY has THAT kind of money in this current economy.  If that ends up being the case.... you are so welcome.  Send me CVS GC and we will call it even.  And maybe a pic of the ______ you bought.  (as long as it's not a before and after of some cosmetic surgery.  I'll pass.)  

Ok.  Warning done.   Back to your regularly (ya, right.) scheduled posts.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Change is Good. Right?

Look up.  No, seriously.  See the tabs?  See?  Seeeee?  I spent the better part of the day working on that.  Sad, I know.  I have been contemplating that little organizing venture for quite some time.  Again, I know.  Sad.  I get it.

Those tabs are my focus.  I hope to come here and get inspired by just looking at them.   It will work.  For a month.  Maybe.  We'll see.

More might be added.   Or not.   Maybe even removed.  Depending. 

Let me know what ya think.   Especially your thoughts on what might be added or removed or whatever.

I'm open.

Change is good.  Right?

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Personal Updates and Other Crap

Hey all.  This is going to one of those posts where I just blurt out a bunch of crap.  I will try to keep it short.  HA!  Ya.  Me. Keep it short? Ok ok ok.... short, for me.  The best way to do this (I think) is to do it bullet style.  Here we go:

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Sick Days Can Suck It

Today, I write you from my death bed.  Ok, not really.  I just feel half past dead and I should probably be in bed.  Close enough, right?  Meh.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Coffee with a Smile. NO. Literally.

What better way to start the morning!  Nothing beats your preferred choice of breakfast beverage smiling back at you!

It was much more cheerful when I opened the cup.  But then I ran around like a mad woman looking for my damn camera and my coffee was all "Hey! You mind? I can only hold this smile for so long.  My face is starting to hurt.  I couldn't argue, so I hurried.  He's still smiling, but it's more of a "bitch, hurry and take the damn picture" kind of smile.  Again, I don't blame him.  It was a bit early to be chipper and he was going out of his way...  especially since his next stop was my stomach. 

What a nice guy, that coffee.
I probably should have tipped him.
Oh wait.
I did.

Sunday, October 2, 2011


So, if you're frugal shopping savvy, you've probably already figured out that this is going to be a blog entry on couponing.  If you're not frugal shopping savvy, then you've just learned it was a couponing entry and you're headed for the door.  STOP!!  Check it out.  You might like what you see and be tempted to try it out for yourself.   Come on.  It'll be fun.  I mean, hey... who couldn't stand to save a few dollars here and there?   You like free stuff, right?   Ya, I knew that would win you over.  Have a seat.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Comfort in a Can!!

Today for lunch, I pulled out the last can of RavioliOs. 

This was a monumental moment.  I was about to share with my youngest, MY.  Only can. Of RavioliOs!  I doubted she realized the importance of this moment.  This was huge!  I mean, not only was I sharing the number one food in my comfort line up, I was sacrilegiously heating it up in the microwave... and at half the power.  *scream in horror*  I KNOW!!!!  Although I have smacked people for less... here I was, ruining a can of  O-Oh Deliciousness... for my daughter.  I half hoped she would make a face and push it away after one small taste. 

My hopes were dashed.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011


Yes yes yes.  I have been MIA for over a month now.  Leaving after previously posting I was MIA and including my picture on the side of a milk carton was unintentional genius on my part.  Very. Unintentional.

Now I'm MIB!  No. I'm not wearing a black suit and carrying a flashy thingy.  Although, the flashy thingy could be lots of fun.   But, no.  I've decided I'm Making It Back.  I know.  Sounds lame.  Trust me, it sounded much better in my head.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Blogger M.I.A.

Forgive me bloggers for I have sinned.  It has been almost a week since my last ... confession? Post?  Eh.  Pretty much the same thing.  (Can you tell I'm not Catholic?) 

Friday, August 19, 2011

JBF... Doesn't Quite Mean What You Think It Means.

JBF.  In certain circles, this is short for Just Been ... uh... Fornicated.  For the lack of a more appropriate synonym.  However, in the Rogers household, JBF means something totally different.  Here, JBF means my kids don't go naked to school.   I means, some of the poorly neglected bills will get paid finally.   Because here, JBF stands for Just Between Friends children's consignment sale.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Boobie Lovin' Month!

Ok. That's not the official title for it.  You and I both know that.  Might as well be though.  I mean, if you don't love boobies... this month means nothing to you.  Well, unless you have a birthday, anniversary, or some other big event takes place in August. And why would you go and do that when August is all about BOOBS?!? *psh* I asked Bruce that and he gave me some nonsense about having no control over the month of his birth, blah blah blah and to take it up with his mom.   Ya, no.  That's quite alright.  PASS!

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Fork Worthy Pizza

Last night, Bruce and I went out to celebrate his birthday.  We went to BJ's Restaurant and Brewhouse.  He learned of their "Party for Two" deal which was $19.95 dinner for two.  It came with a medium signature pizza, soup or salad for each person, and a pizookie for dessert.  Being short on funds, we were all over it. 

Saturday, August 6, 2011

I Am A 2 Time Award Winner!!

Look at it.  Isn't it purrrrty? :0)

Not Blessed Mama gave it to me.  Not my first award.  Of course not! *psh* I'm BIG time!  I've got 2! 

Next Weeks Challenge!

Well, so far so good.  I have posted on my blog every day for the last 4 days.  Only 3 more to go.

Thursday, August 4, 2011


Just yesterday, I told you how my youngest was on the road to being THAT kid. 

Today, she proved my point.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

In Every Family, There's Always One

You hear about them.  The kids that paint with their own poop... Drink from the bottle of bleach... Stick beans up their nose...  Redecorate their bedroom walls with permanent marker.  Each time you hear these stories you get a good laugh, compare your kid and thank your lucky stars your angel has never been that bad.  But lets be honest, all kids have their moments to shine.  We all have our "OM'GOD" parenting tales.  And the more kids you have, the better the odds that your family has to... well... Shine.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Dear Diary, HELP?!?

I am setting myself a new goal: Attempt to blog every day for a week.  Treat it like a diary of sorts.  Even if it means, it's screwy, off the wall, makes no sense, a grammatical nightmare, or not acceptable for others to read.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

This Item Sucks. Literally.

My children are batty about chocolate milk.  I can't say that I share their enthusiasm.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE chocolate!  Milk is cool in my book too.  However, the combo... ya, there is something just really wrong there.  In my personal book-of-the-insane, milk should follow chocolate to chase away all the lingering bits and makes for a nice final touch to the sweet.  When you put them together, the milk doesn't get to clean the palate because it's saturated in chocolate and you are left with that chocolaty aftertaste that begs for the milk.  It's like I need milk as a chaser to my choco milk.  I know.  I'm weird.

My kids, however, are normal.... well.... sort of.  And they love them some chocolate milk!  So when my Mom found these chocolate straws that turn your milk chocolate, she was all over them. Bought 2 packs. When the kids saw what she had bought them, they freaked out.  Needless to say, we all had a mid-day milk snack to try them out. 

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The Guy Was Hot! The Dirt was NOT!

Nothing makes me open the door faster than a gorgeous guy offering to clean my carpets for free! 

Hello!  Sure!  Scrub my floor while I watch!  How much will you charge for me to watch you wash the rest of them?

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Where the Wild Things are Sleeping

Today is a busy busy day in the KidLit house hold.  We are preparing for our annual yard sale.  (This keeps us from being hoarders and ending up famous on TLC.)   I took a break because I HAD to share this:

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Wordless Wednesday... And a Party Horse Anecdote of sorts.

Daddy: Hey Punkie! Your horsie binkie is upside down.
Mommy: Horsie?!? That's a unicorn!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Not So Extreme Couponing

So have you jumped on this band wagon yet? If not, do you think you will? Ya, neither did I. Didn't seem worth it. 50c off here. 25c off there. $1 off... if the item is a billion dollars to begin with. What's the point, right? Then that show aired... you know what show I mean. The show where these crazy women have rooms dedicated to shampoo, toothpaste and cereal? And other rooms for stock piles of things they will never use? And the HOURS they say they dedicate to it?!? 30+ ? INSANE!!!

Or so I thought.

Friday, July 8, 2011

It's Not Much... But It's A Start!

I have had it!!!!

I am sick and tired of avoiding the scale!  I avoid it, because it lies.   So, time to get a new one. 

Ok, no it doesn't.  And no, I'm not getting a new one.  It's me. 

This sucks.

But I have a plan.   A 3 part plan. 

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Wordless Wednesday... and a few words.

Dodos are alive, well and living in my backyard...

And no, I do not mean my children... this time.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Wow. I'm a Wimp.


It's no great secret that I rely on the power of coffee to get my by.  However, sometimes not even a triple shot not fat mocha java can save the day.

Why do things happen in clumps?  Ok, I know the logistics of why.  No need to break it down.  It was more of a rhetorical question, but thanks! 

Monday, July 4, 2011

Happy Independance Day!!

To my handful of followers and my many lurkers...

Happy Independance Day!

Please play safe.  Don't drink and drive.  Enjoy your celebrations!

Much Love,

KidLit and Family

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Who-Who Art aka Lady Landscaping

So I keep seeing this commercial.  Maybe you've seen in?  Lady gets out of a pool and a potted plant trims itself into a rectangle?  Another lady does something else (I don't remember what, didn't pay THAT much attention to it!) and some other potted plant trims itself into ball.  Then, yet another lady does something else (again, don't remember... nor care) and another plant turns into a triangle.  Thanks to this commercial, my hubby seems to think MOST women do this.  Thanks big time razor brand I won't mention here by name because you pissed me off.   Ok, so... how many actually DO that?!?!?  

*looks around to count hands, sees at least one and loses interest... fast*

Monday, June 27, 2011

Baby Pics. *poof* Gone! Crap.

The day I realized 98% of my son's baby pictures and my eldest daughters toddler years photos were gone for good, a little bit of me died.  That same day, I swore I dedicate my children's precious images to paper and get (what I had left and would create in the future) off my computer.

And I have. Now I have a bushel of photos I need to put in photo albums. Needless to say, they are still in the packs they came in.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Things Found in a Room - 2nd Edition!

That's right! It's back!!  Just as I threatened, wonderful goodies left behind by everyday people in rooms at local extended stay hotel!   I know you were just on the edge of your seat waiting this.  Wait. No. More.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Murphy Can Suck It!

Yesterday, my SO lost his job.  Well, more specifically, his contract was cut short due to financial short comings.   In other words, Cut Backs.  Down Sizing.  The recession strikes again!  Grrrrrr.  This, on the heals of us already struggling and falling slightly behind in order to celebrate June

Why?   Why did this have to happen now of all months?  Believe it or not, I have an answer for that.   Murphy's Law.  The law that states that anything that can possibly go wrong, will go wrong at the most inopportune moment.  The unwritten portion of that law states, if you are a member of the Murphy Clan (which I am), you might as well count on said crappy timing of bad tidings and use it to your advantage, because your inopportune moments will be plentiful.   Yippee.   Don't get me wrong, I love my Irish heritage and my Murphy side of the family but, I sooo could do with out the Curse! Law thing.

To add to the sting, today (June 23rd) marks the 11th year the love of my life and I have been together.  11 freakin' years ya'll!!!  That's HUGE in both our books!!  It's Monumental!!   *takes a minute to breath in the unbelievable victory sweet success of surviving achieving 11 years with out killing each other of coupled bliss*  Ah!!!  Smells good!  Well... except for that lingering Murphy stench!

Ya know what?  Murphy can SUCK IT!   Not even this bad news is going to bring us down!  We worked hard for this!  We deserve to be happy no matter what!   We have gone through this before and here we are, stronger as a couple and family despite it.  Probably because of it.  My kids have learned valuable lessons from all our trials.   They know money is not ever flowing.  They know you have to work hard and sacrifice for even the basics sometimes.   They will do well and value things more as a result.   So, today?  I rejoice!  I celebrate not only 11 years as a couple, but 11 years as a strong resilient front!  


Monday, June 20, 2011

Because Your Baby CAN Lose Weight!

Late night television programming...

(Actual screen shot from my television... not my actual tv)
Thanks info-mercial for making me feel like a bad parent!  Guess it's time to break out with the Phonics AND the Battling the Baby Buldge videos.  Luckily, Lib is good at eating or I would feel like a total failure!  *whew*

Because I Feel Guilty...

The other day, I posted special pics of my daughter and darling hubby.  That night, I felt so guilty that I didn't include ones for my other 2 children, that I had a nightmare where the two of them took me down in a dark alley. 

So, to avoid my nightmare coming true, I present to you, my darling one year old and my beloved grad:

If it seems like I am kissin' baby and kiddo butt in the hopes that they forgive and don't stage a Mommy beat down?  You're right!  They maybe little, but they are both freakishly strong! Frankly?  I fear them. 

In fact, if you don't hear from me for a few days... dial 911.  The baby and the boy have been whispering.  I think my efforts are too little too late.     Wish me luck!

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Happy June 19th!!!

Once every 6 years or so, Daddy's Day lands on June 19th.  When it does, we experience... Daddy/Caiti Day!!    Cait turned 9 today and had to share her day with Dad.   You would think this would mean the 2 of them would do something special together, but... nope.  They are doin' their own thing today.  Currenlty, Cait is watching her new Cars DVD on blu-ray and Dad took a trip to Fry's Electronics and then to get his hair cut.  Both happy, which is good.  I'm too tired from yesterday's birthday party for both Cait and her baby sister Libby.  I am spent.

June sucks, but it's filled with love. ;0)

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Busy? Remember... Stress Kills! Take a Minute.

That's right, Stress Kills!  Worse than drugs.  Can lead to drugs. Don't do drugs!  And you feel so frazzled that you start to consider them as an option (or offin' a kid or two), STOP!  Take a breath.  Drink a really cold glass of water.  Count to 10.  Sing a song.  Do a crossword, take a walk, jog in place, do a task you  actually like, or take a ice try full of cubes in to the back yard and chuck them suckers at the back fence as hard as you possible can while picturing Barney/Bieber/Who ever it is that bugs the heck out of you!!!!  *deep breath while clutching ice*  Then chant "It will be over soon.  It will get better.  I will be ok."  If that doesn't work, throw yourself to the ground (perferably in front of the kids so you can scare them with the threat of potential genetic insanity) and throw the biggest, loudest hissy fit you possibly can!!!!  Then when they question why you lost your mind, say it was all for them and to protect them from half-orphanism, to which there is no cure.

Consider this your PSA for the day.    I have done my job.  You are welcome.

*end PSA*
*begin rant*
I hhhhHHHHATE busy days!  Why do things have to clog up your calendar in clumps?  Why can't things spread themselves out?  Too many things going on causes a regularly slightly insane person go completely off the wall BATTY! 

Why do I bring this all up?  June.   That's right June.   Some how, some where, karma... God... the stars alignments... Murphy's Law (and the fact that I am from the Murphy Clan).... or some greater plan than what I can't begin to  fathom because I am not worthy, clumped 3 important dates in my life together by no real choice of my own:  My anniversary, my soon to be 9 year old's birthday, and my soon to be 1 year olds birthday.  AND because it is June, graduations.  Our anniversary is based on the day we met and both girls were mistakes in my rhythm method calculations wonderful surprises!   My son was the only one planned and that's why his birthday is no where near June!!  But his graduation is.  It's also the month we usually get to see our eldest two who live out of state.  And did I mention Father's day?  Can't forget Father's day!

This month sucks.

This week sucks.

Thursday: Libby's 1st birthday!!!   AND   Liam's graduation and the school's end of the year awards ceremony. Seriously.
Friday: Last day of school.  A shortened day.  Of course.
Saturday: Birthday party for the girls.  Last day we will have the eldest 2. :'0(
Sunday: Father's day.  Also, Cait's 9th birthday!!  (the 2nd time she has shared her day with Dad)

Needless to say, Wednesday and prior to Wednesday have and will be prep days for everything.  I'm tired and the "festivities" haven't even begun yet!  *yawn*

I need more coffee.
And time for me. 
Stress kills. 
Don't wanna show up to any of the joyful and memorable times in my children's little lives, dead.  That would suck.  No one wants a zombie on "their day."     Ok... Most people.

Wow.  I'm tired.  That made no real sense.   I don't think.   My mind is starting to rot.   That is exactly why I say "Take time for YOU!"     Potentially dead with mush brain is not good memorable.

I can't wait for my anniversary on the 23rd.   I get to get away for a couple hours!!  MOSTLY kid free. ;0)

I'm gonna need it.

Remember to breath.   (oh crap! *gasp* S'ok!  I'm good!)

Friday, June 10, 2011

!!15 Month Old Taken Away Because Refused To Wean!!

Let me preface this by making it clear that I did not write this.  Upon request from its creator, I am re-posting it in the hopes of rallying more support for this poor woman and her sweet child.  This blog was written by Louma on her blog Amor Maternal.   As she requested, if this story moves you, share it, tweet it, sign the petitions, and if you have a blog... repost it.   Thank you.

Spanish government authorities removed 15 month
old nursling from mother's care due to her refusal
to wean her child by force 

Nine days ago, on May 31st, a Morrocan mother known as Habiba had her child taken away from her without her consent, allegedly because she breastfed her child on demand. Due to her dire financial situation, Habiba had been living with her 15 month old daughter in a women's shelter in Madrid (Instituto Madrileño del Menor y la Familia- IMMF-, which roughly translates to Madrid's Family and Children's Institute).
In later declarations and radio interviews, Nacho de la Mata, her lawyer, informed the media that Habiba had left her child at the facility's daycare center as usual, and that the child was taken away immediately from there. She was then notified that she could no longer live at the shelter, for this facility only took on the care of mothers and she no longer had a child.

Fundación Raíces, a humanitarian organization, immediately took on Habiba's care, providing psychiatric evaluations, performed by well know birth rights activist and author Dr. Ibone Olza, along with legal services, healthcare and financial aid.

According to anonymous information released in the press, supposedly coming from the IMMF, Habiba's child was taken away from her due to her failure to comply to the center's "Psychotherapy and Maternal Habilities Program", allegedly because she was "a violent person", although there are no records of this alleged violence.

Dr. Olza, the psychiatrist who evaluated Habiba, as well as a psychologist, whose name has not yet been released coincide in their impressions on Habiba:

"I'm under the impression that [Habiba] is a sensible and loving mother, with a healthy attachment to her child."

"It is obvious that this separation is highly stressful for the nursling and I can easily predict oncoming symptoms of psychic distress if the physical and emotional bond with her mother is not immediately restored"

"Based on Habiba's thorough psychiatric evaluation I have reached the conclusion that this woman does not suffer from psychiatric disorders nor does she have a drug habit. In my opinion, she is a very capable, loving woman who is now suffering enormously from having been abruptly separated from her child."

"As a child psychiatrist, I know that suddenly separating a fifteen month old child from her mother, transfering her to a government facility with no one the child is familiar with present, causes great damage that could have enduring psychological consequences, if not reunited as soon as possible."

Habiba is not only suffering emotionally but also physically. The day Dr. Olza took on her care, she was suffering from engorgement and was on the edge of developing mastitis. Dr. Olza helped Habiba express her milk and took a half liter of breastmilk to the IMMF. After a lot of persuasion, and arguments about how it would be a crime to waste this mothers "liquid gold", the IMMF accepted the milk although that poses no guarantee upon the child ever being fed it, as Breastfeeding is strictly forbidden in all child welfare group homes.

This news appears to contradict the strong support of breastfeeding in Madrid's breastfeeding and parent-child bonding programs for health professionals. Thus the IMMF's attitude on breastfeeding, and their opinion on it, calling it "chaotic and damaging to children" has caused great alarm among mothers everywhere, not only the breastfeeding community. According to declarations in the newspaper, allegedly coming on behalf of the IMMF, the reason for separating mother and child has nothing to do with their breastfeeding relationship, yet after saying that the child was removed from her mother's care "temporarily and the case would be reevaluated", they warned Habiba beforehand that nursing her child during their one hour weekly visit was absolutely forbidden supposedly because "it would be contrary to the child's institutionalization".

On Saturday June 4th, Dr. Olza decided to seek public support for Habiba's case, and started a Facebook Group called Que el IMMF permita que Habiba amamante a su niña YA (IMMF please allow Habiba to breastfeed her child right now). In less than 24 hours, the group grew to over 2000 members, and currently has over 3500 (and continues growing by the minute).

Yesterday, Habiba was allowed to visit her child, for only an hour. After nine days of being apart, they were reunited for only sixty minutes.

Since information on this case became public, other similar cases of women being forced to wean their children upon threats of their custody being taken over by the state have been brought to light. A public petition in Spanish was signed by over 3500 people, and another 5200 have sent personal letters to the IMMF and other Spanish authorities, as well as Save the Children, Amnesty International and other NGOs to express their support for Habiba and request her to be reunited with her child as soon as possible.

This morning, a Spanish newspaper published further declarations by Dr. Olza about Habiba's impression upon meeting her child briefly yesterday:

"My little girl is no longer the child I knew, at first she wouldn't even look at me... she has lost half a kilo, she looks very thin, this is not proper childcare, she had circles under her eyes, she started crying as soon as I picked her up but then she would stop immediately as if she didn't have the physical strength to cry any longer, she didn't seem like my daughter, she looked like a dead child, a doll".

Dr. Olza explained to the Spanish authorities that the child's reaction was perfectly predictable under the circumstances:

"She wouldn't look her in the face, she looked at her as though she was a complete stranger, not wanting to go near her, [another possible reaction could have been] the contrary, not wanting to let go of her mother afterwards."

"... it was absolutely predictable that the child wouldn't seem happy upon seeing her mother given the circumstances," which is something that an untrained observer could [but should not] interpret as "the child not loving her mother, or that [Habiba] was not a good parent".

"On the contrary, the fact that she reacted this way is proof that the child has suffered enormously from this deep feeling of abandonment"

Not only has the child been traumatically separated from her mother, but there also aren't sufficient caregivers to provide children with the nurturing that they need. After visiting the shelter at which Habiba's baby is being held, Fundación Raíces told the press that during night shifts, there are only two caregivers for 42 children under the age of six.

Minutes ago, Dr. Olza, published the following urgent request, asking all supporters currently residing in Madrid to please protest in front of the IMMF right now:

Less than one hour ago, a representative of the IMMF in charge of Habiba's case has verbally accepted that she sees " her child one hour a week in order for her to maintain their breastfeeding relationship" to which the president of Fundación Raíces has replied that he obviously has absolutely no knowledge whatsoever about breastfeeding. His response was that the IMMF would evaluate the possibility of more generous visitation rights. We ask you all to please go stand and protest in front of the IMMF building right now to request that this institutional abuse upon Habiba is put to an end immediately. The address (in Madrid) is Calle Gran Vía 14. The following is extremely important: please take the picture above printed on paper to use as masks during the protest, Habiba does not wish for her face or anyone else's to be displayed in the media. We will all wear this drawing as masks because We are all Habiba.

I'm perfectly aware that this story seems very much like a hoax, but with well know professionals such as María Teresa Hernández, member of the Spanish Pediatrics Academy's Breastfeeding Commitee, award-winning lawyer Nacho de la Mata, well reknown authors and birth activists Isabel Fernández del Castillo and Ibone Olza, among others backing the information and giving their personal impressions on the matter publicly, things seem greatly believable.

If this story has touched your heart, if you wish to help in any way, please share this post. If you have a blog, please re-publish this information, if you know anyone in the press, anywhere in the world who could help in any way, please do contact them.
If you wish to support Habiba on Facebook, please join this group in Spanish, or this international page with other translations, including English and French.

Please sign the public petition in Spanish, or in English (rough translation).

Thank you!

Leer más:

Under Creative Commons License: Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives
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Thank you all for reading.  Much love,

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Dumpster Diving ... Glorified!

Again, I have found myself on a fellow blogger's website posting a comment that I really should have posted here.  As before, I posted it anyway, copied and pasted it here!  To see what fan-tab-u-lous blog inspired this entry, please visit Elisabeth's blog Flourish in Progress and her recent blog entry on roughly the same topic.   And yes... I'm lazy.  ;0p

While I could never bring myself to dumpster dive, my Mom has on many occasions.  I have sold some of her finds on eBay before for an easy profit.  (I checked them and cleaned them completely.  Sellers loved the items.  Don't judge! ;0p ) 

Now a days, dumpster diving has given way to things she finds in hotel rooms she cleans for a living (as you have seen in my previous post... more to come on that with better items than dish soap bars.)  However, that includes a 30 day lost and found waiting period.  Not as instantly gratifying, but kinda like Christmas when she gets the lost and found bags that time has expired on.  

My current obsession is going to Goodwill's outlet store.   Dumpster diving glorified!!  You go into a warehouse with 2 dozen or more blue semi-shallow sorting bins on wheels, each about the size of a compact car.  Each is filled with misc. items that didn't sell at their stores for whatever reason.  (usually, due to over pricing)  With the exception of furniture and other hand selected heavier items, everything is sold by the pound.  Everything from house hold items, toys and books to shoes and clothing.   It's awesome!  I have found all sorts of things there including a Bulova ladies watch w/ diamonds (hidden deep in a inner pocket of a really cute diaper bag), a Coach  and a Dooney purse.  Many items, I have turned around and sold for quite the profit.  I highly recommend it.  '0)

Just... stay away from the outlet I go to.   I'd hate to go all crazy on you over a pair of Prada Shoes at the bottom of a bin.  I have a screaming baby with me at all times and I know how to use her.   Stay back!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Things Found in a Room

I would like to start a new segment I have been threatening to start for a long time:  Things Found in a Room.

What kind of room, you ask?  Hotel rooms.  Residence Inn rooms to be more specific.  I will leave exactly which, where and who I get these from out of the stories.  Not because they have been stolen or otherwise acquired illegally, no.  It's because I don't want you insane lovely people going there and leaving odd things there so you can land a spot on my inglorious blog!  ;0p

First item up for your enjoyment.... VIM!  With the "EXTRA POWER OF LIME!"

Yup.  Dish soap in bar form. 

 I think? 

Pretty sure.

Found what I believe is their website.  Check it out if you wish. Or not.  Not all that exciting.  Located out of Canada?  Sorry, but that doesn't look like Canadian to me. (English and French.  I'm being goofy, not stupid.  Although I do have my moments.)  I am not even going to venture to guess what language that is, because chances are, I would be wrong.    However, they tend to get a lot of  temporary residents from India.  Eh?  Maybe. However, on the website, no bars. I guess bars aren't popular for scrubbing pots and pans in Canada. Go figure!

That concludes my very first epi blog-i-sode of   "Things Found in a Roooooooooooom!"

(Bar available for sale. No really. Want it?  All proceeds go to aiding me in my coffee and choco addiction.)

Wordless Wednesday

County Fair 2011

Could they look any happier?  Maybe?  Sheesh!

Friday, June 3, 2011

Ancient Deliciousness!

First things first:  I am beyond sorry for my extended absence.  June is a mega busy month.  I know that doesn't explain why I haven't been here in MAY, but if you were me (or you know me personally), it TOTALLY makes sense! 

I have wanted to get on here and post a spit load of things.  In fact, I have a folder with pics just screaming at me to write about them.  Yes, pics.  My most recent attempt at encouraging myself to blog more often and quite possibly... *gasp* ... regularly!    Ok, maybe not that often.  That requires organization.  Something I long for, but lack on a large scale.

In the attempt to catch up with my own rambling thoughts, I present you with one of the many pics in that folder:  Ancient Deliciousness!

In a cup. :0)

This has got to be THE best Greek  yogurt of all freakin' time!!!  I kid you not!  I love this stuff!  (and no, they aren't paying me.  But if they want to, I will gladly take a month, year or even a life times supply in payment!!!)  I will admit, I was leery of trying Greek Yogurt.  And at first, it seemed a bit bitter.  Still not sure if that was because it was new to me or if it was a bit old.  *shudder*  My first time out, I tried Vanilla.  It s'ok.  Then Honey.  It's a bit strong, but good.  But then I tried the Strawberry Cream and the equally delicious Blueberry Cream.  Oh. My. Greek. Gods!!!  This stuff is FANTASTIC!!  Don't get me wrong, I like regular yogurt, but NEVER has regular yogurt made we sneak back into my own damn kitchen like a kid attempting to swipe ice cream when no one was looking and left me feeling almost guilty for eating more than one!

Yes.  That good.

It is soooooo creamy and oh so yummy.   Even PLAIN!  And that says a lot people.   I hate plain yogurt.

So, if you happen to come across ZOI Greek Yogurt in your grocer's refrigerated section, I say you grab one... or two... hell, grab 10!  They are that. Damn. Good!   And if you find I'm am full off bull and you hate them, I will happily take them all off your hands.  And eat them.   All.  

Consider it a potentially guilt ridden service I am willing to provide you. 

Because I care.  '0)

Monday, May 16, 2011

She Faught the Bed and the Bed Won

But she put up one heck of a fight!

My youngest is going to turn 1 in one month exactly.  To celebrate turning 11 months old, she practiced her semi-mobile independance and maimed herself, possibly earning her first ever "tuff gal black eye" badge.   She had pulled herself up and was cruising the length of her sibilings bed when her legs gave out and she wacked her eye on the bed frame.

My poor baby.

I sent this picture to her Dad at work.  He has a beef with the bed and will be demanding a re-match with it later (on her behalf of course).  I hear rumor a power tool might be involved.  

PS I have just been informed that there is no such thing as a "tuff gal black eye" badge.  Then what was that I earned in the Girlie Scouts with the balck eye on it? 

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Oh Soft And Cuddly!

Monchhichi!!!  You remember the thumb suckin' monkey doll from the 80's?  I try to forget.  Wanted one.  Never got one.   Was reminded today about the fuzzy thumb sucker and it brought up all sorts of scars in the process.  

Almost daily, (or less because I suck at doing anything "regularly") I check one of my favorite blogs: The Bloggess.  Occasionally, she posts links to other blogs that have bought space for their awesome ads.  Normally, I click on the ad, glance around and leave.  Today, the ad sent me to a blog that not only grabbed my attention, but made me stay and read entries for over an hour!  So, now I have yet another site I feel compelled to check out on a regular basis, keeping me on the computer that much longer.  But its ok.  Worth it. The blog is called Flourish in Progress and it's written a young lady (wow. do I feel OLD now) named Elizabeth.  Her blog (in short) is the "chronicle of (her) 30th Birthday Project"  of cutting back on her "needless spending."  While that's great and admirable and all, I'm just following her blog because she's FUNNY.

Ok, I can literally hear you screaming, what the HELL does this have to do with scars and Monchhichis!!!
Be patient.  I'm gettin' there.

So, I was pokin' around her blog, trying to get the basics with out being there all day, when one of the titles of her previous blog entries catches my eye: I Failed. Shit.  I had to read it.  It was here I came face to face with the elusive toy of my childhood.  The Monchhichi.  Basically, her blog entry was about how she "failed" in her project one day because she stumbled upon one, HAD to buy it and felt sightly guilty for her needless purchase. 

I left a comment.  I had too.  I felt her pain.  I would have bought it too.  Well... here's what I posted:

"Do NOT feel bad about your "set back." It's a Monchhichi for shit sake! It was a NECESSITY!! I would have done the same thing. Seriously. I wanted one as a kid too. Didn't get one. Got a generic grey (much bigger) thumb suckin' wanna-be. I loved it and pretended (sadly) that it was a Monchhichi, but it wasn't the same. That Chhichi scar is a deep one. You NEEDED to buy her. And lick her. ;0)

When I was 4, I had this fantastic Fisher Price castle complete with furniture, little people kings and queens and knights, horses and a cute little pink dragon. I loved that thing. My parents did the unthinkable and "donated" it to my preschool (with out asking me) thinking I had outgrown it or something. *eyeroll* I was bitter over it for years (when I would remember it was gone.) Eventually, I got over it... or so i thought. Last year, my Mom and I were at a children's consignment sale and there, among a bunch of Littlest Pet Shop Habitats, Bratz Doll Houses & newer Fisher Price Little People play structures... my castle. Complete with cute little pink dragon (and everything else.) My therapy cost (my Mom) $80!

It lives in my kids room. I play with it all the time."

Ok, not all the time.  Just when the kids are in school.  That's why we send them to school, right?  To play with their toys?   

That reminds me.  My daughter is turning 9 soon.  Maybe I should get her a Monchhichi for her birthday. ;0)

Friday, April 22, 2011

Happy Earth Day!!

Hello everyone.  As you know, today is (or rather Friday, the day I typed this was) Earth Day. Now, whether or not you did something to celebrate, I don't care.  Far be it for me to jump all over you for not doing something to honor Mother Earth, when I pretty much sat on my keester and fiddle-farted with my laptop for most of the day.   HOWEVER, my kids did plenty!  
They helped their grandma plant our garden for the season.  This year they planted:
* corn
* green beans
* replace one of your artichoke plants because it was trampled on
* tomatoes (in a very generic topsy turvy)
* carrots and lettuce (both using some sort of bio-degradable strip with the seeds built in so they are evenly spaced and yet some how still all cramped too close together)
*  redirected our black berry bush (re-using part of our previously delapitated gazeebo)
* added a few more "wild flower mystery seeds" to where the California Poppys took over and choked out the rest of our previously beautiful & diverse array of flowers. (sounds a bit political to me)
* and planned out where to later add our pumpkin plants closer to mid-summer. (if not, you get pumpkins in August and well... they don't keep 'til Halloween.  We've tried.)

I don't know about you, but the whole adventure makes me tired just thinking about it.   But I'll be out there to enjoy it once the weather gets warmer and it's time to eat it all harvest.   ;0)

Pictures from previous years:

Small Pumpkins. Great for scarecrow butt cheeks. ;0)

Our smallest tomato year ever, but still not bad since we didn't plant any that year. 
Rogue tomato plants!  Gotta love them.

Ivy and what WAS our wild flowers... ignore the weeds.
Maybe THATs what choked them out.  Hrmm....  Nah!

This is what happens when you don't pick your artichokes in time.
Pretty isn't it?  Scotish Thistle anyone? ;0)

Haven away from home. ;0)
Ya, warning... with the pretty sunflowers comes bees.

But they're so pretty!!!

And eventually... yummy. ;0)

Happy Earth Day!!!!!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Wordless Wednesday and a few words

I took this picture a couple months back.  Yes, I saw this sad thing on the road.  Yes, that is packaging tape.  Yes that is packaging tape you see holding the gas cap on.  And yes, the tail end was a lot worse.

And people wonder why I have such high anxieties when it comes to driving.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

MESA: Where Nerds Are Grown With Love!

A few months back, my daughter joined MESA at school.  MESA stands for Mathematics Engineering Science Achievement.  Great program that helps under priviledged children (sadly, that includes our children off and on) learn the fun points of geekery in the hopes that they grow up to become the next Bill Gates and take over the world!!   Or, atleast someone who designs things that won't break.  Which is good too.  

Saturday was her first MESA Day competition.  She competed in Tetrahedral Kites and Kapla Blocks which she had to stack in a tower and balance an apple on the top. She never got to the apple part. Because the tallest/most stable towers win, she was not satisfied with her attempts and knocked them all down.

All the kids took a math test to start off with. Top 3 scores in each grade won a medal. Her school won a lot of medals! In the math test alone, their 3rd grade group sweeped! They also won medals in the kites, kapla blocks, water bottle rockets, popstick bridges, pop up books, macaroni cars, and a few others I can't recall.

Cait was not one of the winners, but she had fun. It was pretty awesome! :0)

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Earth Hour 2011

Last night my family and I took part in the 3rd annual Earth Hour.  I had just learned of it on FaceBook and after doing a quick bit of research, decided it sounded like something we could do with the kids that was not only easy and green, but also free and fun.  We were already planning a game night that night. Totally made sense.  We even got Grandma to turn off her TV and join in on the fun. :0)

  Uno Stacko by Candle Light.
Family Bonding with a Cause!

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Japan. My Thoughts Are With You.

Thursday, my heart sank.
I saw the water as it rushed ashore and I felt powerless.

8.3   8.8   8.9    I doubt it makes a difference the actual magnitude when you are in the midst of  swaying buildings and falling debris.  Your only thoughts are "Holy Crap!" and "How do I get out of this alive."  Heck, those were my thoughts when I was in the "Great Quake of 89" in the San Francisco Bay Area.  And it was only a 7.1.  And I was about 25 miles away from the epicenter.  I was afraid for my life during and physically ill from the shaking after.  I can only imagine how much more intense it was in Japan.  I mean, earthquakes are survivable, but if you are caught in the wrong place during one, there is nothing you can do.  It's not like they come with warnings. 

Unlike tsunamis.

Plenty of warning.  Not much in the way of surviving if you are in the way of a large wave. Or, as we saw in Japan, fast rolling water.  That just blew my mind!  The water just ... spread out.   Like an assimilating amoeba, absorbing everything in its path.  It looked like a harmless puddle spreading across the land, until it would topple a building like it was nothing more than a sandcastle.  Or you'd focus on the debris it was pushing along and realize it was a fleet of cars!! 

Were there people in those cars?  Where there people in those buildings?  My mind went there many times and for my own sanity, I lied to myself and said, "No.  Not possible.  They had warnings.  They headed the warnings.  Why wouldn't they?"  Then they'd show the water creeping towards a town.  With a road.   With cars on it.   Cars driving both ways as if they weren't sure where to go, or worse... didn't realize the water was coming.  I did all I could NOT to scream at the TV!!  A few cars turned around, but it didn't matter.  The water was coming from both directions.  What happened to those people?  Did they make it?  Again, I lied to myself. 

Why did I keep watching that night?   People describe it as watching a train wreck, you just can't look away.  Literally, a morbid curiosity.  I finally forced myself to change the channel and watch reruns of  "The King of Queens" in the attempt to get my mind off it.

But those in Japan, didn't have that luxury.  It made me feel guilty.  Those in Hawaii didn't have that luxury either.  It was headed their way.  And then I heard it might reach us here in CA.  I wasn't as worried for my fellow Californians.  We had more warning than anyone else.  What killed me were the morons who just had to line up near the beaches to see the waves!  Seriously?!?!?  You're being told that a tsunami is coming and you purposely get in the way?!?  We really have a false sense of security here in the US.  Not even WATER can touch us!  WTF?  Do they not remember Hurricane Katrina?!?   Then I heard a man was swept out to sea because he was taking pictures of the waves.  *shakes head*  There was even a warning that the waves may reach up to 6 ft high and he still got in the way!!  Not to speak ill of the dead, but that had Darwin Winner written all over it.   Turns out they were wrong.  The wave was 8 ft.  No out-running that!!

One thing really bugged me about they way some of my fellow Californians reacted.  Japan was hit hard.  They are facing a potentially massive death toll, many are missing, and the damage will take a long time to clean up and recover from.  And now, they face the possible effects from the nuclear plant exploding.  Life as they know it will not be the same for quite some time.  Here in CA, we were barely tapped in comparison.  (Here's what really bugged me) Many of the people interviewed here came across and shallow and materialistic!  "Oh, my boat!  I lost my boat!"  (not a direct quote) Seriously?!?  Did you live there?  Unless you lived there, who gives a fuck?!?!  One chick said she was "devastated" by damage.   Really?   It's a boat.  Sure, it cost you a pretty penny, but still!   THAT'S.  NOT.  DEVASTATION!!"   You wanna see true devastation?   Watch the videos of Japan.  Gain some prospective! 

*steps off the soap box*

Please.  If you can.  Donate.  Japan is going to need all the help they can get from all of us world wide.  The easiest thing you can do is text a donation.  Quick, easy and virtually painless.  You can donate $10 to either Salvation Army by texting either "QUAKE" or "JAPAN" to 80888 or to the Red Cross by texting "REDCROSS" to 90999.  Both will bill your ten dollar donation to your phone bill and both are tax deductible.  

Blessings to all affected, even here in the US, but especially in Japan.


I got this blog set up because NORMALLY, I'm an endless windbag of chatty nonesense. 

Not so much lately.

Maybe it's the lack of sleep?  The baby?  The other 2 kiddos in school?  My recent consignment sale projects?  (more on that later, I promise)  Or maybe it's just the looming depression I've had lately?  Who knows.  Just haven't had the desire to type.  That isn't normal.   For me anyway.  Normally, I am boggin' down my girlfriends on our Mom's Site blabberin' away about pretty much everything.  But here lately, the blab-blin' brook has run dry.

It's been a month since my last post.  Wow, that sounds like a confession.  Forgive me reader for I have sinned.  It has been a month since my last post. "Post two blogs, Tweet 5 times and all will be forgiven."  I promise I will do better.  Or atleast I'll try.  Maybe I should sign up on some of those blog ring things.  An actually audience that would hold me accountable and call me names might be just what I need to post more.  Not a nice audience mind you.  They would forgive.   And I would feel fine flaking knowing I'd be foregiven.  No, I need posts like "You Wanker!!  Post Already!!"  That I would respond to.  Or atleast, I'd like to think I would.   Altough, in reality, that would probably make me shut it all up and quit all together.  Or maybe not.  

What am I trying to say... no clue.  I'm rambling.  Sadly, it's what I do best.

Friday, February 11, 2011

"I have two pants on!"

The other night, my eldest daughter came in to us because she had a nightmare.  As usual, she couldn't remember what it was about, but she was visually shaken.  And shirtless.   When I asked her why she didn't have a shirt on, she couldn't really answer. She had no idea.  It wasn't a particularly warm night, but she has been known to tunnel under all her blankets and overheat.  So, we did a quick search for her top in and around her bed with no luck.  Desperate to get back to sleep (both girls had night issues and I was beyond tired!), I gave up and got her another shirt and helped her back in bed.

The next morning, we were in the kitchen making breakfast when she looked down and exclaimed "I have two pants on!"  When I asked her why, she responded "I don't know."  Immediately, I knew what had happened and headed for her closet.   Sure enough, in her hamper, was her shirt.  On the floor was 2 more jammie shirts.  When I called her in there and pointed it out, she seemed a bit confused.  "I didn't do that." 

"Ya, I believe you did hun.  I think you were sleep walking."
"I didn't do that!"
"Well, I didn't put 2 pairs of pants on you in the middle of the night."
"Oh, ya.   But I didn't put my shirt in there."
"Ya, I think you did."

This was the first time in my daughters life she was utterly speachess.  I wish I hadn't been worried and trying to hide so I could have enjoyed the moment.  I explained what sleep walking was and how her older brother in Nevada does it form time to time.  That seemed to help, but she still seemed a bit freaked out about it.  (I was too, to be honest.)  While she was at school, she worked through it in her own way.  She talked to her classmates.   When I picked her up, she came running to me yelling "Maurice does it too!"

"Does what?"
"Sleep walks!"
"He does?  You told Maurice?"
"Ya!  I told him how I woke up in two pants and how took my shirt off with out knowing it because I slept walked.  He said he sleep walks all the time too.  He's slept walked to the bathroom before!"
"He did?  Wow.  So you feel better about it now?"
"I just hope I don't walk up with two pants on again."

Me too.  


To the few regular readers I have and the many lurkers:
Happy Valentine's Day!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

It Happened on Wordless Wednesday... and a few paragraphs.

Yesterday marked my Mother's 57th year on this planet (how many years she has spent on other planets, she has refused to comment).   To celebrate, we all went to Letherby's Family Creamery.   We had a modest dinner of sandwiches, soups and salads.  And of course, we followed it up with delicious ice cream for dessert.

But that isn't the main point behind this post.

On our way out of said Creamery, my beloved son tripped over a raise in the concrete/his own feet/ air (who really knows) and took a litteral nose dive.  Unfortunately, his hands were in his pockets (something his Dad is ALWAYS yelling at him for) so his nose broke his fall.   Luckily, it did not break in the process. 

As you can see, he is all too proud about his battle scar.

He cried all of maybe 10 seconds.  Long enough for mommy to run over and squish his face in her boobs with a knee-jerk reaction.  (I hope that stops soon.  Would be quite embarassing if I did that when he was a teen.  For him I mean.)  After that, he straightened up and pulled the strong "I'm alright Mom" routine.  Hrump.  Let me coddle ya for more than a few fleeting seconds will ya?!?  *sheesh*  When we got home, he got an "Obi Wan" bandaide, which made him feel tuff and he started walking around with aire about him, like he had won some sort of battle.  This morning, he ditched the bandaide and refused another.  On the playground, he soaked up the attention as he answered inquiries like "What happened to your FACE?!?" with a sense of pride.  One answer was quite simple:  "I fell on the ground like THIS!"  followed by sound affects and ninja like moves. 

My kid is all kinds of hero crazy.   I love him.   Hope he doesn't scar.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

I Was A Chicken

My last post Coming Out, was inspired by postings by Jenny the Bloggess ( a normally very funny, but sometimes very down to earth blogger) and a very moving video by another amazing blogger, Michael Kimber.  I concentrated on Michael's plea to "Come Out" and help break the stigma behind mental illnesses, something I feel very strong about.  This post, I feel the strong need to focus on the story behind Jenny's post.  The story of yet another blogger named Lori.  A courageous woman currently in the midst of what she calls her own personal nightmare come true: the aftermath of her husbands suicide. 

I didn't dive into this in my last post, because I wanted to focus on the stigma.  And, too be honest, I didn't even read Lori's posts until today. Too close to home.  Didn't want to face what I could have done to my family had any of my attempts ever been successful.   However, I had read in other posts about her blog; that it was real raw emotion.  I even read that some had talked crap about her and put her down for posting them where others could see, including her kids.  While I was sure I wouldn't side with the ignorant jerks who saw it best to kick her while she was down, I wasn't sure how the posts would make me feel about my personal crap, so I chose to stay away.  Today, I felt compelled to read them.  I'm glad I did.

Yes, her emotions are raw.  Yes, her language is rough.  Who's wouldn't be after such a traumatic loss?  But the message, and the emotions surrounding it, are important!  It's a message not often shared.  And when shared, not nearly enough.  Why should something like this be shared?  You always hear that suicide is not the answer and all it does is make things worse.  That statement, while true, is vague and not at all enough to stop someone from thinking that the world we be a better place if they weren't in it.  The aftermath of suicide is ugly. An ugly some people need to know about in order to further dismiss it as a personal option.  Lori's blog entries are raw and real.  Posting them helps her cope with it all.  It also helps others, like myself, fight our inner demons and realize what they are capable of doing.  More importantly, her blog encourages those who feel like they are losing the battle to  speak up, reach out and get help. 

So please, if you have ever contemplated taking your life, read her blog. Put things into prospective. Mental illness is not something you can suffer through with out affecting others.  Don't be foolish in thinking you can just "handle it".  Even the strongest and wisest have battled with depression and lost.  There is no shame in asking for help.  It takes a very strong person to speak up.  And in doing so, you won't be just saving your life.  You'll be saving the lives of those you love and those who love you.

The Bloggess said in her post "Your friends and family want you…broken or not."  I agree wholeheartedly.  Damaged is far better than dead. 

You are not alone. 

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I'm Coming Out!

You read that right. I'm coming out. I am joining the movement. I have been out for the most part, but now it is time to jump out and slam the door shut behind me!

I am Tracey and I am Bipolar.

I flinch when I say that out loud because those who hear me tend to jump to their own conclusions as to what that means. Some assume it means I'm insane, schizo, psychotic, dangerous... even contagious. Some become "sympathetic" and treat me like I'm either fragile or special needs. I have even come across those who act as if I am full of crap, doing it for attention or just a bored SAHM riding the diagnosis of the month. They assume this not because of my actions or rumors to my past. No, they based them solely on the heinous stigma that surrounds mental illness as a whole. A stigma I have battled against for the better part of my life. For this reason alone, I have kept "in the closet" about this very important part of myself.

But no longer.

I was diagnosed at 19. My story neither begins there, nor ends. But it almost did.

I had already figured out I was Bipolar. Not by a treatment center or a doctor or even an online search (such things were unheard of for the most part back then). It was in my first year of Jr. College. I had just stormed out of my Intro to Business class because I arrived too late to take a test and I completely lost it. I was directed to speak with my college counselor who just happened to run a "Bipolar/Unipolar" support group on campus. I attended one meeting and immediately knew the answer to the question I didn't even realize I had been asking myself for years.

"Why am I so damn different?"

Finding out the answer was an indescribable moment in my life that I will never forget. It was right up there with losing my virginity.... strike that. Better. However, knowing wasn't enough to save me from the self destructive ticking time bomb that had already been set to go off deep within. I attempted suicide twice before I was hospitalized, put on meds and then... finally... diagnosed.

Looking back at my childhood, I can see things that should have been obvious signs. Two things kept my family from properly seeing them. One: Most of them were Bipolar. Two: None of them knew it!! Yep. I was the first of my family to be diagnosed. Unfortunately, the diagnosis came too late for 2 of my relatives who were too far gone and sadly, took their own lives. (Although, in both cases, whether it was an accident or by their own choice is still up for debate by some.)

Those same things I saw in myself as a child, I now see in my daughter. At first, it scared me. Then I realized it didn't have to be scary! Sure it was scary for ME! I was CLUELESS!! She doesn't need to be! It took me years to figure it all out because I had to do it all on my own in a time when people were still being locked away for months even years! Just NOW, they are starting to recognize Bipolar Disorder as a pediatric issue. They are realizing that not all those bouncy kids are suffering from ADHD. Some are Bipolar. Treatments are changing. For the better.

With all this change, shouldn't the stigma change too?

All mental illnesses are REAL ILLNESSES. REAL DISORDERS. They are NOT however, defining.

I struggle with my illness. I live my life in spite of my illness. In order to do so, I embrace my illness.

I am Tracey. I am Bipolar. I am also a daughter, a sister and spouse. I am doting mother and aunt. I am a teacher, a caregiver, an entrepreneur and a bookkeeper. I am creative and open minded. I am supportive and caring. I am funny. I am loving. I am fun loving and wise. I'm a singer and a dancer. I am a jokester and silly. I'm encouraging and courageous. Above all, I am hopeful and sincere.

If you have been hiding, I ask that you join me and come out. Like I said, it's a movement. Well actually, its a campaign. Started by this guy: Michael Kimber.  He's also on FaceBook.  I learned of Michael and his Coming Out of the Crazy Closet Campaign, through Jenny the Bloggess.  She too "Came Out" recently on her blog and asked others "Speak Up!"

So please.  Join us.  Come out.  Speak up.  Help us fight the stigma that has held us captive in our silence for far too long.

You are not alone.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Lethargy or Just Lazy

I have been overwhelmingly tired here as of late. (I know I'm not pregnant again, so don't ask.) It seems I am constantly yawning, yearing for coffee and struggling to stay vertical. It could be many things. I have mild/borderline moderate Anemia. My baby is 6 months old, growing and constantly wanting to nurse. She doesn't sleep through the night yet. My son has been up coughing and choking on mucus in the middle of the night quite a bit here as of late. I also have a mild form of SAD and this weather is NOT helping. Then, as a cherry on top of my hot mess of a sundae, I am under a shit load of stress. Multiple causes. I'm trying to let most of them slide ad not worry about them. However, when some are all up in your face, it's hard to ignore them! Like my Father and brothers here for the holidays. I swear, they leave and my shoulders finally relax 2 days later. Then I find myself sleeping their visit off over the course of several days. So, ya... the causes of my lethargy are a plenty.

But some days, lazy takes over. I get a rush of energy and I clean... the kids room. Who gives a flip about the kids room when the front of the house looks like a bomb hit! ME apparently! I'll spend hours .... HOURS!!... putting all their freakin' toys in the right place. Then I walk into the front and find myself waving my hands in disgust, *pshaw*-ing, and walking back into my bedroom to hide... only after stopping to view and taking comfort in how clean the kids room. A sense of accomplishmet maybe? A cleaning "Patch" per se? I don't know.

On a not so tired moment.
Notice the newly cleaned and stacked diapers... and the Starbucks?
Ya, that was a productive day. ;0)

I've been napping and drinking coffee. Nothing helps. Hell, the coffee probably makes the Anemia worse! Atleast that's what the website I linked to above says. Great. No wonder I feel more tired after a cup of Joe. So much for helping me with a boost of caffiene! Blech. Probably undoes the iron pills I've been slammin' every day.

I can't win. I want the sun back. And my nightly sleep. But that means my infant not being an infant anymore. Well, that sucks!

Again, I can't win.

I just can't win.