Friday, May 4, 2012

Too Ugly to Vlog.

My last entry slammed Welbutrin.  Rather, the effects I was experiencing on Welbutrin.  You would have thought by the size of my rant, they would have taken me off it.  Nope.  They upped it.  To my surprise, it's working.  Sort of.  I'm not depression like I was, but I am still irritable, anxiety ridden and self loathing. 

I tried to take a suggestion from The Bloggess and video tape myself ranting about... myself.  Ya, that made it worse.  Sort of.  My last attempt made me realize I could never vlog because... well... I'm too ugly.  To me anyway.  It also brought me to another realization.  In order to eliminate my self loathing, I need to work on my self esteem, because that won't change with out some work, no matter how good the drugs are.  All this "realization" yet another realization: Things won't change unless I do something about it and I won't do that unless I put myself on blast.  And that's what I'm about to do. 




4 comments:

N.B. Mama said...

Well that was a step in the right direction. And you don't need me to tell you that your friends know exactly how beautiful you are. <3

KidLit said...

Thanks girl. I need to do something. This seemed only logical (and a tad bit insane) at the time. Now, it just seems insane.

Homeschool Atheist said...

You're gorgeous :)

Liz said...

I want to hug you.