You bring a new baby home and you think, "I can do this. I've done this before. No big." They sleep a lot and you sleep when they do. When you are both awake, you breastfeed, change and you both pass back out. Right?
You intend to sleep. However, LIFE demands your attention. This kid wants a snack. That one asks if they can paint. The dishes need to get done because the kids are using paper plates left over from a party 2 years ago to put their snack on and the guilt of how "not green" that is, gets you and you're fighting the baby blues. Oh! And then there's that load of diapers you need to do (so you don't use a disposable... see same guilt as listed above) and the small fact that your son told you this morning he is out of clean underwear, nags at you as well. Soooo, you throw in the dishes, a quick load of diapers (with a few pairs of unders for the boy) after slicing some apples, pouring some juice and popping in a movie so they are entertained for at least 15 minutes and you crawl back to bed. Rest is in sight.
Wrong again! This is when your youngest will take her cue and wake up. Why? Her hiney exploded! Not only did it soak through on to her clothes, but her bedding as well. Fun! So, after quickly treating the bedding, her outfit and misc. items from your own sadly neglected mountain of laundry and positioning them next in line for the washer, you dress the bed and make the kid. Things start to fuzz together. Coffee becomes a sweet day dream. The question in your mind is now, do you sleep or do you push through it and caffeinate yourself. Hrmmm...
No matter your decision, you eventually lose the battle and become sleep deprived. You may not even realized you've become sleep deprived as it tends to sneak up on you with out you even knowing it. However, there are signs that you have indeed fell victim to this terrible disease. I am here for you mama! Just in case you miss said signs, I have decided to list them for you. I don't know them all, but as I learn of them, I will post them here. If you learn of some I have missed, please do add them. It's for the greater good of all mama kind.
What will we do with all our new found wealth of knowledge? Commiserate? Use it to guilt our significant others into helping out more so we can get so much needed sleep? Or just get a really good laugh out of it? Who knows. Maybe all 3. Wouldn't that be nice?
Hey. One can dream..... when they sleep. Ya, but who gets to do that? *eye roll*
You know you're a sleep deprived mama when...
* You go to change your breast pads and find a third one hiding in the bottom of your bra.
* You make your baby and change your kid. (see paragraph 3)
* You have to read things several times before you totally get it.
* You use toothpaste on your baby's diaper rash and brush your 4 year old's teeth with Desitin. (no, I didn't do this one. But my MIL is guilty of the whole Desitin dental scrub)
* You go to pour milk into your children's cereal and realize the milk somehow ended up in the cupboard with the bowls.)
* It's then you realize you are also snacking in your sleep.
* Not only have you walked out the door forgetting to put on shoes,
* but have been in public for hours before you realize your shirt is on inside out.
* And backwards. (yes. It's happened to me.)
* You've had to re-wash the same load of laundry 5, 6, 7... hell, a dozen times... because you keep forgetting it's in the machine.
* You forget to run the dishwasher, find yourself drinking out of a dirty cup, shrug and keep drinking. (try not to gag and don't judge. I was really REALLY tired.)
Like I said, I KNOW there's more. I'll add them as I think of them. Please do the same. Hope these gave you a good laugh, guilt power and made you realize you are not alone. ;0)
Sleep tight mamas!