Lethargy or Just Lazy

I have been overwhelmingly tired here as of late. (I know I'm not pregnant again, so don't ask.) It seems I am constantly yawning, yearing for coffee and struggling to stay vertical. It could be many things. I have mild/borderline moderate Anemia. My baby is 6 months old, growing and constantly wanting to nurse. She doesn't sleep through the night yet. My son has been up coughing and choking on mucus in the middle of the night quite a bit here as of late. I also have a mild form of SAD and this weather is NOT helping. Then, as a cherry on top of my hot mess of a sundae, I am under a shit load of stress. Multiple causes. I'm trying to let most of them slide ad not worry about them. However, when some are all up in your face, it's hard to ignore them! Like my Father and brothers here for the holidays. I swear, they leave and my shoulders finally relax 2 days later. Then I find myself sleeping their visit off over the course of several days. So, ya... the causes of my lethargy are a plenty.

But some days, lazy takes over. I get a rush of energy and I clean... the kids room. Who gives a flip about the kids room when the front of the house looks like a bomb hit! ME apparently! I'll spend hours .... HOURS!!... putting all their freakin' toys in the right place. Then I walk into the front and find myself waving my hands in disgust, *pshaw*-ing, and walking back into my bedroom to hide... only after stopping to view and taking comfort in how clean the kids room. A sense of accomplishmet maybe? A cleaning "Patch" per se? I don't know.

On a not so tired moment.
Notice the newly cleaned and stacked diapers... and the Starbucks?
Ya, that was a productive day. ;0)

I've been napping and drinking coffee. Nothing helps. Hell, the coffee probably makes the Anemia worse! Atleast that's what the website I linked to above says. Great. No wonder I feel more tired after a cup of Joe. So much for helping me with a boost of caffiene! Blech. Probably undoes the iron pills I've been slammin' every day.

I can't win. I want the sun back. And my nightly sleep. But that means my infant not being an infant anymore. Well, that sucks!

Again, I can't win.

I just can't win.

Wordless Wednesday... and a few words

A boy and his first motor. Ah, true love.

Creative organized holiday greetings amidst utter chaos? Totally Doable.

As the days counting down to Christmas dwindle away, many of us find ourselves wondering what in the world we are going to do and how the heck we are going to pull it off. With the current economy still wreaking havoc on many of our pocket books, this can be even more stressful and anxiety laden. I know. I wake up nights wracked with concern, sweat pouring down my face, many times screaming "SANTA! STOP!" Ya, probably something I need to bring up in therapy...

Anyway, my point is, I GET IT! And I'm here to tell you (and myself) that it doesn't have to be this way! We live in the age of technology and it's a wonderful thing! It can save us not only money, but time and most importantly save us from ourselves!

Case in point. How many times have you said "I would LOVE to get a family portrait done of my beautiful wonderful children and send it out as a Christmas card, maybe with our year updates for the family members we hardly ever see." And then your oldest starts "cooking" for your middle child who wants to help and sets off the smoke alarm, waking up the baby, who starts SCREAMING because her diaper is full and her stomach is empty, while your darling hubby (with out missing a beat or looking up from his game)asks "Honey, will get the baby? I'm on level 40 and this guy has me locked in battle." Then you realize, there is NO WAY I'm going to be able to get these kids to sit still and look cute all at the same time, let alone the big one virtually taking his aggressions out on a dwarf!

*deep breath* OK, probably not that often... but you get my point. Right?

Well, this year I know exactly how I'm going to handle it! I have several great pics of the all the family, just not of all of them together. And with the awesome holiday photo cards they have available at Shutterfly.com, I can just pick the best of each of them and BAM! Precious holiday photo-card greeting done! I can even get them in a folded card so I can add updates about our family, like Libby's birth, Liam starting school and all about Cait's awards. Come to think of it, they also have gifts you can personalized. I know Nana and Papa would LOVE a calendar loaded with pics of the kids. And my Dad would totally get a kick out of a mug with their precious faces on the side so he could brag all day at work. :0)

Well there ya go! Christmas solved! Stress relieved! Scary Santa nightmares... I'll work on that one. Until then, stress less and have a great holiday season everyone!
;0)

Ramblings of a Mad Woman

This will most likely make no sense. If you walk away and make a sandwich while I vomit the thoughts from my head, that's fine. I'll probably still be rambling when you get back.

I started this blog back in.... crap, I don't remember when I started this blog... a while ago. It just sat here! Had, maybe one post? Don't bother looking for it. I deleted it. But then, a member of my mom's group started blogging. Then another. I figured it was worth another shot. After all, I was spewing enough books on our mom's site, might as well re-direct my efforts to one place in the event I wanted to re-read them at some point or share them with non-mom-group-members. That and most of the mom's were scanning my rants at best. I was feeling bad about all the eye pollution I was creating there. I mean, it was usually on topic and only a a little self centered. ;0) But where else was I going to spew my brain spittle?!? So, ya. The blog made sense for my sake and the sake of my fellow mama's. (Note: some of them would be quick to argue and say my stuff was funny/well worded/on topic/blah blah blah... but they are my friends and pay them to say that. Others said it was skim worthy at best, so... You be the judge. Read my stuff and either follow my blog or leave "YOU SUCK" in the comments section and kick rocks. Ok, maybe not that last part.)


I like creative writing. However, my definition of "creative writing" doesn't seem to be the same as my previous instructors definitions, because my papers always came back marked up with mountains post-it arrows and miles of red ink pointing out all my grammatical, punctuational and spelling errors. (Not to mention lengthy run-on sentences) I mean, isn't it creative to manipulate punctuation, spacing and what not in order to write like you talk? I always thought so. Apparently, what I saw as "creative", they saw as just "wrong." This quickly sent my love of writing out the window. My love was rekindled as I started posting about my families adventures on the aforementioned mama's group, which led me here.

The problem with this whole blog thing, is that I get performance anxiety. I know that sounds stupid, but bare with me while I explain. I started this to unload the rambling thoughts out of my head and have them stored some where. Then I get here and feel the not so piercing eyes of would be readers. Not that I have many. But still! And it's stupid really! I want to do this for myself! What do I care what others think? Because I'm HUMAN! *eye roll* Now, if I was a cat, this wouldn't be the case. Cats don't care what others think. Especially humans! But then, cats don't have thumbs, so... that would be pointless. All my entries would be about tuna and lack spaces.

Speakin' of Tuna... back with that sandwich? Good! Well, don't let me stop ya. Munch on. I'm almost done.

So, what is my point with all this. Well, not sure if I have one really. Just trying to figure some things out for myself. Answer some questions. Like... Do I want to keep blogging? Does it matter if no one really reads it? Is it better if not one reads it? What if people DO read it? Will that bother me? Do I continue to write like I'm aware others will be reading or more like I am writing in a personal diary and from the heart? And if I do, do I attempt to be more correct in my creativity or just give in and be creative in my own interpretation of the word? Will I slave to a schedule? Do I sign up on blog lists and with blog groups? Or do I fly solo and let the flow of the internet wave take me where ever the tide of surfers see fit? To tell you the Truth, I know none of these answers. Yet. But I will! This was my first step. Now that I've typed this all out and have read and re-read it, it will be easier to mull over as one big picture and not just a jumbled mass of fragmented thoughts. Hopefully, I'll have an answer soon.

Done with your sandwich I see. Wow. Did I really ramble that long? Eh. Nothing new.

Oh great. Now I'm hungry. Good thing dinner is already in the oven. ;0)

Financial Woes

* Roof over our head? Check!
* Food in the fridge? Check!
* Car in the drive way still? Check! wait.... *checks* Ya. Check.
* Power still on? Check!
* TV too? Check!
* Phones? For now... Half a check.
* Clothes that fit? Check!
* Credit cards paid? Ya... no. Sorry guys. I know. Poor credit. I get it.
* Pocket change for misc. Ha! Ha ahaha aahahh a ahahahahaaaa!! *cough* No.

Misc. is short for: Mom I want that, I want coffee, the fee for that is, crap that broke, the bus for the fieldtrip will only cost you, we need milk again, Oh, you want that clean, then I need soap, what do you mean you lost your library book, crap THAT broke, that was the last roll, make your sandwhiches out of crackers then, brush your teeth with warm water, I don't need no stinking bandages.... wait, yes I do, seriously.. I want REAL coffee, Gas Again... Didn't you just fill up, you need WHAT for your class, suck in, get the shoe horn, stop growing, I just bought those, well, we DID have enough for the week, please-coffee-now, that wasn't under warranty, get the duct tape/stapler/safety pins/glue, again with the gas, How Much Is THAT Gonna Cost!

*sigh* I need coffee.

And a job.

My Baby Says "Mama!"

There's nothing sweeter than hearing your child utter her first word. However, hearing it when she's only 2 1/2 months old, causes nothing but dismissal and denial. For the past month or so, my little cutie has been smiling, cooing, almost laughing and ... saying "Mama."

At first, I dismissed it as just babble. Then others started to point out when she would say it.

"No. It just sounds like it. It's just noises and cooing."

My neighbors agree, she was definitely saying "Mama." I said they were nuts.

It wasn't until one day when I was helping my older 2 clean their room, my baby girl started fussing. I started to rush through pick up so I could declare their room clean before I dealt with the dirty diaper, snotty nose, slobber and up spit I foresaw coming my way.

"MAMA!!"

Again, I dismissed it as possible and continued to fling toys into bins at neck breaking speed and deadly accuracy! But then, I received the ultimate confirmation...

"Mom. Libby just said "MAMA!"

Thank you son. I believe you're right. :'0)

That all been said and gushed over, she only says it when she's upset. To her, its a noise that brings me running and all the care she needs. I know she isn't actually associating me with the term "Mama." (That's me safely staying in the world of dismissal and denial... just in case it disappears tomorrow.)

{This Moment}

From Soulemama via Not Blessed Mama:

"A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see."

Sometimes Love is Sweet, but Hard to Swallow

Yesterday morning, my 8 year old daughter surprised me with breakfast in bed:

Looks good, doesn't it?

That's 4 lightly toasted (aka still somewhat cold) blueberry toaster waffles each topped with a patchy layer of either peanut butter or Nutella and lightly drizzled over with maple syrup. (I added more before this pic was taken.) It was lovingly served on a paper plate and a plastic spork still in the plastic wrap (switched out for a real fork before pic was taken.)

Her reason? It was "Happy People Who Love Cats" day.

Isn't she sweet! And oh so pretty. My adorable little tree hugger.

Let's not share with her how "not so green" the plate and spork were. Or just how many glasses of milk mama needed to finish her breakfast. (3 tall frothy glasses & a cup of coffee!) We'll just keep those secrets to ourselves for now. Some day, I'll share this story with her as I beam over the pictures with pride and a warm feeling in my heart. Reminds me of the time I baked my dad a green grape pie, which he too ate every bite of. Ahhh, memories. '0)

Yup. Sometimes love is sweet, but hard to swallow.

Biting Off More Than I Can Chew... Again!

My beloved son turns 5 in 3 weeks. :0)

That same week...

* I'm throwing him a birthday party.
* He's starting kindergarten.
* My darling daughter starts 3rd grade.
* I'm participating in one of the greatest children's consignment sales ever.

and
* I'm helping some of my friends prep their items for same said sale.

That's a lot to prep for. Especially when I have an adorable infant who eats at the breast upon demand, a 4 year old who creates a path of destruction where ever he goes (topic for another blog entry), and an 8 year old who's idea of helping is counter-productive to say the least.

Have I lost my mind?!?!? Well, ya. Of course. Pretty much goes with out saying, but then I seem to thrive on insanity. The downside is the stress that comes with it. I don't do stress well. Never have. Hey, that's why they created coffee, right? *slurp*

If I survive, I'll be back in 4 weeks to blog about how it all went. Here's to hopin' I get to report that the party was a success, all my items (and my friends items) sold, the kids made it to school dressed appropriately and more importantly, my son makes it to see is 5th birthday.

You know you're a sleep deprived mama when...

You bring a new baby home and you think, "I can do this. I've done this before. No big." They sleep a lot and you sleep when they do. When you are both awake, you breastfeed, change and you both pass back out. Right?

Wrong!

You intend to sleep. However, LIFE demands your attention. This kid wants a snack. That one asks if they can paint. The dishes need to get done because the kids are using paper plates left over from a party 2 years ago to put their snack on and the guilt of how "not green" that is, gets you and you're fighting the baby blues. Oh! And then there's that load of diapers you need to do (so you don't use a disposable... see same guilt as listed above) and the small fact that your son told you this morning he is out of clean underwear, nags at you as well. Soooo, you throw in the dishes, a quick load of diapers (with a few pairs of unders for the boy) after slicing some apples, pouring some juice and popping in a movie so they are entertained for at least 15 minutes and you crawl back to bed. Rest is in sight.

Wrong again! This is when your youngest will take her cue and wake up. Why? Her hiney exploded! Not only did it soak through on to her clothes, but her bedding as well. Fun! So, after quickly treating the bedding, her outfit and misc. items from your own sadly neglected mountain of laundry and positioning them next in line for the washer, you dress the bed and make the kid. Things start to fuzz together. Coffee becomes a sweet day dream. The question in your mind is now, do you sleep or do you push through it and caffeinate yourself. Hrmmm...

No matter your decision, you eventually lose the battle and become sleep deprived. You may not even realized you've become sleep deprived as it tends to sneak up on you with out you even knowing it. However, there are signs that you have indeed fell victim to this terrible disease. I am here for you mama! Just in case you miss said signs, I have decided to list them for you. I don't know them all, but as I learn of them, I will post them here. If you learn of some I have missed, please do add them. It's for the greater good of all mama kind.

What will we do with all our new found wealth of knowledge? Commiserate? Use it to guilt our significant others into helping out more so we can get so much needed sleep? Or just get a really good laugh out of it? Who knows. Maybe all 3. Wouldn't that be nice?

Hey. One can dream..... when they sleep. Ya, but who gets to do that? *eye roll*

You know you're a sleep deprived mama when...

* You go to change your breast pads and find a third one hiding in the bottom of your bra.
* You make your baby and change your kid. (see paragraph 3)
* You have to read things several times before you totally get it.
* You use toothpaste on your baby's diaper rash and brush your 4 year old's teeth with Desitin. (no, I didn't do this one. But my MIL is guilty of the whole Desitin dental scrub)
* You go to pour milk into your children's cereal and realize the milk somehow ended up in the cupboard with the bowls.)
* It's then you realize you are also snacking in your sleep.
* Not only have you walked out the door forgetting to put on shoes,
* but have been in public for hours before you realize your shirt is on inside out.
* And backwards. (yes. It's happened to me.)
* You've had to re-wash the same load of laundry 5, 6, 7... hell, a dozen times... because you keep forgetting it's in the machine.
* You forget to run the dishwasher, find yourself drinking out of a dirty cup, shrug and keep drinking. (try not to gag and don't judge. I was really REALLY tired.)


Like I said, I KNOW there's more. I'll add them as I think of them. Please do the same. Hope these gave you a good laugh, guilt power and made you realize you are not alone. ;0)

Sleep tight mamas!