Med Changes... Again.

Welbutrin.   I can honestly say, I am not a fan.  So far, my side affects of this "anti-depressant" have included: crying, worthlessness, overwhelming thoughts, anxiety, frustration, bouts of confusion, hopelessness, .... I could go on.   Can we say "Epic FAIL?!?!?"  

So this "failure list" has been successful.  

"Failure List?"  I see some of your scratching your heads.  Let me explain.

In California, (... edited to make a long story short and to eliminate all the nasty things I really want to say, but won't...) they made cut backs, which included cuts to Medi-cal for those with disabilities. Understandable, but annoying (and other choice things I will again leave out.) Those with disabilities had to pick a secondary provider to cover some of the costs.  The provider I now have is Molina Health.  Molina is also doing major cut backs. (Again. Understandable.)  However, one of the  wonderful cuts included the one and only medicine that works best for my disorder. Cymbalta. Now, this does not mean they will NOT give it to me. It just means I have to try a laundry list of medications they think are "comparable" first.

So, in order to get the medicine I know works for me, I must try a shit load of meds and FAIL! I must put my health at RISK in order to get what I need.  To save them money.  Really?!?! And... would you believe, that my (non-Molina) doctor has that list typed up and in my file with a glaring title on the top that reads: "Medicine Failure List."  Not only that, but it has a note attached from Molina that says, "Cymbalta will be provided when all other medicines fail."  

WHEN ALL OTHERS FAIL!!

SERIOUSLY?!?!?

I have 3 kids.  Had these meds been too much of a failure, it could have cost them their mom!  Luckily, I have one hell of a support team around me. It could have been much worse.  These kids should not have had to see their mother go through hell and back so Molina could save a buck or two. Or am I wrong?  Honestly, I can NOT be the only one that sees the real epic fail in all this.

No matter.  I have "successfully failed" the last of the list.  Hopefully, this means the proper meds can now be made available to me and I can go back to being my normal awesome (albeit, weird) self soon. 

Namaste, Ya'll.